Cry Differently
by Elliot Grace And Theories
Summary: 'I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of.' Wounded people heal together. Modern AU.
1. Pilot

_**What am I doing? Hmmmm, I have no clue. I've got two stories to update, many stories to prepare for publishing, and this was not on the plan. I just thought of it like, I dunno, twelve minutes ago? I'm the type who won't leave stories as one-shots because I'll usually have the inspiration to keep going , and I'm sure this is one of those stories. So let me know if you guys will like this as a multi-chapter (which will probably happen, let's face it) or just a simple few chapters.**_

_**Disclaimer: I wish I owned. Must try harder.**_

* * *

_**Cry Differently**_

* * *

_**Chapter One**_

* * *

_I walked across an empty land  
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand  
I felt the earth beneath my feet  
Sat by the river and it made me complete_

_Oh simple thing where have you gone?_  
_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_  
_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

* * *

_My mother used to say, years before she died, that some things in life come, and then they go. Nothing is permanent. Sometimes, you try hard to keep it, and sometimes, you try even harder to forget it. Some things you should always let go of are things that hurt you. And the things that make you happy, you should try your very best to keep. Love, she said, is one of those things._

* * *

'Good morning,' Hanji chirped, glancing up from the register she was trying to start up.

'Not working again?' I questioned, unwrapping the scarf from around my neck.

'Hmm,' she affirmed, 'it froze up. I've only got ten minutes to get it working before it's time to open up the shop.' Hanji huffed in exasperation, placing her hands on her hips as she waited for the screen to flash to life.

'Just get a new one,' I sat across the counter from her, unzipping my jacket, 'it's a cafe, you can't deal with a faulty register every morning.' I looked around. 'Why didn't you turn on the heater? It's freezing outside.'

Hanji squinted her eyes at the screen, patience slowly seeping out of her. 'It's going to snow this week. That's what the weather forecast said anyway. Not that it's ever right.' Finally giving up on the hope that it would start any time soon, she turned away and reached for the heater control on the wall. With the press of two buttons, the heater flared to life on the ceiling, and I felt a rush of air over her hair, chilly. I shivered.

'A quick flat white, will you?' I grinned at my long time friend. 'Two sugars.'

Hanji rolled her eyes. 'Just come to the back and make it yourself.'

'But it's your coffee shop.'

'But you make better coffee.'

'I'm paying you. And one of those salad sandwiches please. You know I love your sandwiches.' I pointed at the one she wanted through the glass case.

The register screen lit up, coming to life and Petra could see the brand logo flash in the reflection of Hanji's glasses. Hanji grinned, suddenly in a good mood. 'Whatever you want, Picasso.'

Taking a sandwich out of the glass case, she put it on a plate and slid it across the counter, turning to make the coffee as well. 'How's work going?' She asked over her shoulder, her purple strands whipping about her.

'Don't get hair in my coffee,' I warned cheekily. 'It's going well, I guess. It's pretty quiet though. I'm painting the last touches on a law firm in the next neighbourhood today, and once that's done, I'm free. I thought painting and decorating would keep me real busy.'

'Or your just a workaholic,' Hanji chimed.

I frowned. 'No. Painters just aren't as scheduled as I thought they would be when I was a kid.'

Hanji approached with her coffee, putting a spoon dipped in chocolate beside the serviette. 'Why does it matter? Just relax at home in your spare time. A nine til five job isn't bad.'

I scrunched her nose. 'You know I don't like staying at home. Not since mum died, anyway.'

Hanji appeared dismayed. 'Maybe you should move out of that house. You're dad's like a soldier, you don't have to live with him to take care of him, you know. He's always away, isn't he? Just find a nice apartment and move in. Maybe get a cat.' She thought for a moment. 'Or get married.'

I laughed. 'Maybe,' I agreed.

'Just stay in this neighbourhood, okay?' Hanji reprimanded. 'I'll hunt you down if you go far away.'

-X-

Hanji and I had many conversations like that. They followed a similar pattern. It'll be about jobs, and then it'll go onto not keeping busy, and then somehow my mother will become the subject and Hanji will give me a new method of recovery. I didn't need recovery. Not really. It's been seven years since she died and I've stopped mourning long since.

Some things in life come, some things in life go.

It was my papa who didn't know how to let go. He was a prosecutor, and from the moment my mum's murder was announced, he did everything in his power to have the killer jailed. And he did. The defendant's only family, a lone son who was long forgotten tried his best to help his father, but in the end, justice prevailed. As it should.

'How was work today?' Papa asked, watching me clear up the dinner table. 'It was good. Just finished up a firm in the afternoon. It'll open up in a few weeks.' I dumped the dishes in the sink, and set to scraping the leftover food into containers and food bowls. 'Hopefully a new client will come around.'

Papa chuckled. 'Many clients will come. My Petra is a professional.'

I saluted him. 'The very best.'

The skin around his eyes relaxed as Papa's smile dropped. 'Petra,' he said gently.

'Hmm?' I put the container of pasta into the fridge, followed by bowl of salad that I couldn't finish.

'We have a new neighbour. A few streets down.' He eyed me, gaze softening.

'Really? Who is it?'

He cleared his throat. 'You know the old workshop across the convenience store? It's been sold. To a young man. I'm not sure what he's going to do with it but he's been there for a few days now. Been living there.'

I couldn't quite remember which shop he was referring to, but I rarely went that way. 'So who is it? You've never had an interest in our neighbours before.' He paused, looking down at his folded hands on the kitchen island. 'His name is Levi Ackerman. Daniel Ackerman's son.'

I froze, the fridge door slowly closing shut with a piercing creak. 'Oh.'

'I don't want you going near him. I don't know what that bastard is doing here but he will have nothing to do with us. Do you understand? Not so much as an acknowledgement.'

I nodded numbly. 'Of course, Papa.'

He sighed tiredly. 'I'll be in my study if you need me, sweetheart.' Getting to his feet, he ruffled my hair gently and then disappeared into the hall, the conditional click of his study door signalling his self-confinement. Like every other time.

As I washed the dishes, my mind wandered. I thought of the court case from all those years ago. The back of the head of Daniel Ackerman's son that I saw. The dead look on his father's face as he listened to his sentence being announced. I remembered Papa weeping beside me, and my vision blurring as tears fell down my cheeks. The relief. The content. Finally. _Finally_. I don't know what I expected from a defendant's family when they were convicted. Maybe shouts, angry screams. Tears. Maybe even the slouching of the shoulders, the drop of their head as they finally accepted defeat. But Daniel Ackerman's son did none of those things. Through the haze of my own tears, all I could see was the straight posture, the head held high.

A scorching burn on my palm jerked me from my train of thoughts. Turning off the scalding water, I hung the last of the dishes on the dish rack to dry. Blowing on my hand gently, I soothed the pain, but my eyes weren't quite seeing as I tried to recall the memories of the trial.

That night, however, sleep consumed me.

-X-

'Were you saying that you were bored?' Hanji asked over the phone, her voice sounding excited.

'Hmm?' I mumbled, scratching my head and keeping my eyes shut so they sunlight seeping through the window wouldn't burn them through.

'Yesterday. Something about not being busy enough. You were saying that.'

I yawned. 'Yeah, I was. Why?'

'I've got a client for you. Not with your company, but something separate for you to do. How's that, Picasso?' She gave an arrogant laugh. 'I'm such an immaculate friend, don't you think?'

I finally sat up. 'Really? Who?'

'He came into the shop this morning and was looking through the phonebook. I saw him looking up the painting services for his studio. So I told him I have a painter friend who has plenty of time on their hands. He gave me the address. Said to tell you to come down whenever you're ready.'

'What did you say?' I asked, blinking away the last of my sleepiness.

'I said you'd come by today.'

'Today?'

'You don't work weekends. It's Saturday, Petra. Wake up.'

Standing on my wobbly feet, I walked over to my desk, pulling out paper from the drawer. 'Give me his address then. I'll get changed and go straight for it.'

'Will it kill you to say thank you?'

'You're the best, Hanji,' I amended.

'Indeed.'

Quickly writing the address down, I ended the call. 'Bless her soul,' I murmured, throwing off my pyjama top. One glance at the clock said it was almost ten. Papa left for work hours ago. He wouldn't notice my absence for a while.

Preparing my bag full of clothes, I slipped the address into my pocket and left the house.

-X-

'Hello?' I knocked on the wooden door of the shop. Leaning in, I listened for sound, but heard none. Reaching for the handle, I twisted it and to my surprise, it wasn't locked. Pushing it open, I stepped inside, my steps causing creaks to run along the floorboards.

'Hello? Is anyone here?' I called out, looking around cautiously. The place was wreck. The wallpaper was peeling; the shelves and floors were dusty and dirty. The slide door I approached was almost off its hinges when I pulled it open. Carefully setting it back into place, I walked down several steps and looked around.

'Excuse me,' I said loudly. 'I came in for a paint job. I got a call this morning from my friend at the coffee shop. She said you needed a painter?'

'I didn't know it was a woman.'

I almost jumped at the sound of a voice wafting from the corridor to my left. A man appeared at the doorway. He stared at me, expression dull and stoic.

'Did she say it was a man?' I inquired, gripping the strap of my bag.

He turned away. 'I guess not.'

Not knowing what else to do, I followed him. The corridor was no better than the rest of the shop.

'Is this going to be a studio?' I asked.

He didn't reply, leading me into what seemed to be a back courtyard.

'Do you think you can do the job?' He voiced, sounding flat.

'Of course. No job's too hard for a painter.' I said, not wanting to frown in front of a client. He stood in green cargo pants and a fitted blank singlet, hands dusty and white from whatever he was handling before I came in.

'Good to hear. I like results. If that's what you can give me, we'll work well together.' His eyes, a piercing, bright grey, stared at me. 'Did you need to get changed?'

I smiled. 'Yes.'

He gestured to the left, where there was a door ajar. 'You can do it there. I'll be inside.'

He turned to go back the way we came, but I reached out a hand. 'Nice to meet you, I'm Petra Ral,' I introduced myself. He looked at my hand for a second. 'Levi,' he said shortly, and then left.

My smile fell, my hand dropping to my side.

_Levi? _The name resounded in my head.

_I don't want you going near him. Do you understand? Not so much as an acknowledgement_.

Not so much...as an acknowledgement.

* * *

_Hold onto love, Petra, my mother used to say. To a person, there is no one more precious than the one you love. Because they teach you new things about yourself. Make you want to be a better person. And most importantly, they make you happy. What's life if you're not happy?_

* * *

_I came across a fallen tree  
I felt the branches of it looking at me  
Is this the place we used to love?  
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?_

_Oh simple thing where have you gone?_  
_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_  
_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

* * *

_**Review and let me know what you think? Please please please?**_

_**Love you guys **_

_**xx**_


	2. Static

_**Disclaimer: Don't own. Must try harder**_

* * *

_**Cry Differently**_

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_**Chapter Two**_

* * *

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I'll set you apart_

* * *

_There was no such thing as first love for me as a teenager. I was a studious student who attended an all-girls school so there was no time to meet boys, experience love and decide what kind of man I wanted exactly. It all came so late for someone like me; I was a late bloomer in every sense of the word. I was twenty six when I had my first love. He was a grumpy thirty year old carpenter who had the attitude of an eighty year old man. Crude, brazen and unashamedly disrespectful, but oh I loved him so. He was everything I knew I did not want but he made me need. There was no man like Levi Ackerman._

* * *

In the small storage room I was directed to, I slowly pulled on my overalls and boots. This wasn't right. Papa told me to stay away from Daniel Ackerman's son the very night before, and here I stood, in the man's storage room preparing to help him paint. How had I become so reckless?

_Just tell him you can't do it, _the voice of reason in my head sounded. But it would be rude and silly, right after accepting his offer. Huffing in frustration, I pulled on my left boot and stepped out of the room, heading across the courtyard to the corridor Levi led me through. Tying my hair into a bun as I walked, I tugged the bandana around my neck to loosen it.

I found Levi in one of the bigger rooms.

_This place is a lot more spacious than it appears to be_, I thought absentmindedly as I watched Levi shift a table to the far corner and drag machinery along the dusty tainted timber floor. His undercut hair fell into his face as he leaned down and picked up a wooden drawer and carried it in the same direction. His face was pulled into a focused scowl and he wiped his forehead with the towel around his neck. He's changed, was my first thought. He looked nothing like the man whose head I'd seen the back of all those years ago. Something twisted in my stomach. I was in the same room as a murderer's son. My _mother's_ murderer's son. I licked my suddenly dry lips.

'Are you going to stand there for the rest of the morning?' His gruff voice broke my concentration.

I cleared my throat quietly. 'Do you have all the materials? Or had you wanted me to bring them? I could go out and buy them now.'

'No need, I've got everything,' he finally turned to look at me, stopping his work. 'I'm assuming you want to discuss payments first.'

It was the last thing on my mind, if I was honest, but it was a good place to start. 'Since you've got your paints and materials, it won't be as expensive,' I leaned against the doorframe. 'Painters normally work in teams but since it's just you and me, it'll take a bit more time. A week at most? This place is pretty big. I'll start in the mornings at nine, and won't dip my brush in the paint after six, no matter how little work is done. I'll take an hour break at lunch and a half hour one later when I need it. How is twenty five an hour?'

He raised a brow. 'You said it won't be as expensive.'

'In teams you'd pay more than that for each painter. It's a good deal.'

I felt comfortable when I talked professionally. It gave me a sense of security to know what I was talking about, to trust in my own capabilities and knowledge. In this moment, here across a man whose fate shouldn't have been crossed any longer with mine, security was what I needed.

Levi nodded. 'I need the floors repainted as well. Do you work by square meter as well? Payment, that is.'

I considered it. The week I would be here would be a good distraction as well as a good way to earn money. My company wouldn't be taking any commission; the cash would go directly into my pocket. 'I won't this time. Just by the hour. Rest assured, though, I'm a good worker. You'll be paying your money's worth.' I grinned, attempting to disperse the stiffness in my shoulders.

He smirked. 'I'll take your word for it.'

Dusting his hands, he moved passed me and I followed. He showed the entire studio, from the main work area at the front, to the corridor that split itself into four rooms, and the small kitchen that was to the left. The floors of the main area were floorboards, which he said he would not paint, but the rest was timber that he wanted to go over. The small courtyard at back was where we would move all the machinery and the little furniture there was. The room out back that was separate from the rest of the studio was also to be painted.

'Is this where you sleep?' I asked, eyeing the makeshift bed that was visible through the clear glass door of the room. 'You don't have another place to stay? It'll get rather dusty and dirty around here.'

'I'll be living and breathing this place when it's up and running. I don't think it's going to matter.'

Back inside, we started from the front. 'Peeling the wallpaper comes first,' I declared, 'the smoother the surface, the less solvent we'll need to use and the better the primer can be applied. Then the paint.'

He didn't respond, simply went to the kitchen to get a rubbish bag to dump the peeled paper into. We set to work. Conveniently placed headphones beside the door were pulled over his ears and Levi was lost to the sound of silence that I found myself confronted by.

With his back to me, I watched him. His muscles flexed beneath his shirt as he worked, and although he was possibly one of the shortest men I'd met that wasn't necessarily taller than me, it was oddly attractive. The floor beneath my feet creaked and I snapped out of my daze.

-X-

By early afternoon the wallpapers were finished and evened out. We continued to work by quietly carrying out the furniture outside into the courtyard, leaving the entire studio bare.

'Are you going to live here alone?' I asked Levi when it was my break time and I was resting against a carton outside.

'Hmm.'

I paused. 'You don't have anyone to live with?'

'No.' He didn't sound fazed, but not entirely pleased at my questioning either. His headphones that he removed while we were carrying things were back over his ears. 'There's coffee and ramen in the kitchen if you're hungry. Biscuits in the cupboard as well.'

He spun around to go back inside, but I called out, 'you're not going to eat?'

The slight turn of his head told me he heard, but he didn't reply, and disappeared. 'I'll make it for you anyway.' Making my way to the kitchen, I rummaged through the cupboards. There wasn't much in them, save a ton of packets of two minute ramen, crackers, biscuits and a coffee jar. 'You don't eat much,' I murmured, opening the refrigerator. There were salad ingredients, milk and a glass container of rice. In the freezer, there were two frozen chickens breasts and meat in freezer bags. I guess he lived off the ramen, then. Papa and I would die if we had a food supply like this.

Turning on the kettle and finding a pot beneath the sink, I dumped two packets of ramen into it. In ten minutes, I had the ramen ready and separated it into two bowls. Placing them with forks on the wooden table that accommodated as a dining table, I poured the coffee into mugs I found in the cupboard.

Listening out for noise, I found Levi in one of the rooms, scraping up the remains of the ripped wallpaper into the rubbish bag. 'Mr Ackerm-' I froze. He didn't show any signs of hearing me through his headphones, and I almost sighed of relief. Approaching him, I tapped lightly on his shoulder.

He glanced at me and pulled the headphones down.

'I made the ramen,' I said, smiling.

He frowned. 'I didn't ask for any.'

I clucked my tongue. 'It would be impolite of me to use your kitchen and not make you lunch. Come on. We can keep working after we eat.'

When I sat down at the table, he took one look at the fork by his plate and picked it up, dumping it back in the cutlery drawer and pulling out a pair of chopsticks from a cup on the shelf above the sink.

'You do it the traditional way, ey?' I observed as he flattened the chopsticks against the table, securing it in his hand.

'My dad was Japanese.' He excused.

I frowned, several rebuttals running through my mind explaining how _false_ hisstatement was. Ready to tell him not to lie so compulsively, I opened my mouth but he glanced up. 'My adoptive father.'

'Oh.' Wiring my jaw shut, I looked down at the ramen. Stabbing the fork into it, I twirled it twice. 'I was going to say you don't look Japanese,' I attempted a grin to cover up the building tension in my neck, tightening my muscles.

'You don't have to play the fool, Miss Ral,' he said.

'What do you-'

'I didn't give you my last name and yet you just called me Mr Ackerman.' He put the chopsticks down, his gray eyes piercing through mine. 'I remember you too, Petra Ral.'

I grimaced. Never once had I seen him look at me all that time ago, let alone notice me enough to recognize me seven years down the track. But I guess, I never saw more than the back of his ebony-haired head.

'But I don't intend on letting that affect this task. It's only a week's worth, I'm sure we'll manage. Personal emotions and feelings shouldn't affect our professionalism. Do you agree?'

I didn't reply, staring at him with an incredulous expression.

'I guess that's settled,' he said, standing up.

'You're incredibly crass,' I said, watching his back as he walked towards the door. He turned his frame slightly. 'I've just made you a meal and the least you could do is eat it. And don't make decisions by yourself. Affect our professionalism? What do you take me for, Mr Ackerman? I've been doing this job for years and if you think I'm immature enough to let a past incident influence my work ethic then you are terribly mistaken. Don't be so recklessly presumptuous.'

He shifted his weight from one foot to another, shoving his hands into his pockets as he stared at me, challenging. 'I merely cleared up some future possible problems before they occur. The last thing I need on my hands is a personal grudge from a new neighbour.'

I frowned. 'How do you know that I live around here?'

He shifted again. 'I heard through the grapevine the Rals live in this neighbourhood a day after I bought this place.'

I snorted. 'Would you have changed your mind if you found out sooner?'

'You can be sure I would have.'

Silence overcame us. I stared at him in amazement at his bluntness and he stared back, expression a cross between a glare and a scowl. 'If you don't want to work with me, Miss Ral, then leave. I,' he said slowly, drawing out each word, 'don't have time for this.'

I licked my lips, hands loose on the table. I shouldn't be offended, I reasoned. He'd done nothing wrong. He did nothing I wouldn't have done.

_You're saying you'd defend a killer? _The voice in my head echoed. If it was my father, wouldn't I? No matter what, no one would believe their parent to be a criminal. But criminals existed and they had to be someone. Someone's sister, someone's cousin, someone's friend_._ Criminals were a somebody to many people. And for this man before me, fixing me with an expression I'd never seen, as though tired and frustrated and purely angry, that somebody was a father. Could I blame him for anything, even for looking at me like I had maddened him?

_You didn't do anything._

And neither did he.

He turned to go again, a foot stepping out of the kitchen by the time I decided to reply. 'At least have the coffee.' And it must have been in my voice, the decision I made, because he paused a moment, head turned slightly. 'I don't have coffee with milk. We'll continue working after you've finished your break.'

-X-

The rest of the day was spent in silence. We applied the solvents to the walls and stripped away the remaining paint. It took several hours on its own just waiting for the solvent to take effect, and another hour to take care of the aftermath. By 5:57, I was exhausted but feeling refreshed, accomplished and still active.

Pulling off my gloves carefully and dropping them into the garbage bag, I unwrapped the bandana from around my neck and huffed. 'That's all for today,' I announced. 'Tomorrow we'll wash down the walls to get rid of any solution, and apply the primer. How's that sound?'

Levi nodded, and despite standing stiff and composed, I knew he was also worn out by the day's activities.

'Can I use your bathroom before I go?' I couldn't help but ask. Not only did I need to wash my hands but use the toilet for only the second time since morning.

'It's just beyond my room, if you go a little further in, you'll find a door.' He was already tying up the bags, ready to take them out to the rubbish bins.

I nodded. 'Thanks.'

Out in the courtyard, it was already getting dark, and I absentmindedly wondered if Papa would wonder where I was. Stepping through the clear glass doors to Levi's room, I only took one look at the bed and makeshift bookshelf before heading down the short hallway and opening the door to the bathroom, as it was conveniently labelled so on the wooden entrance.

Minutes later I exited feeling refreshed and much more comfortable.

'Where was my bag again?' I murmured to myself, and remembered the storage room across the courtyard. But before I could leave the room, something on the bookshelf caught my eye; a voice recorder. Walking over to it, I picked it up, feeling the weight in my hand. Why would he use one of these? My thumb hovered over the power button. I glanced behind me, lest the Ackerman himself was standing behind me, but I was alone, the bare courtyard visible through the glass door.

I bit my lip. Feeling torn between intense curiosity as to why a man would record anything and basic morals outlining respect for other people's privacy, I stood for a moment, contemplating. Finally relenting, I placed it back on the shelf. My momentarily sated curiosity wouldn't be worth the feelings of guilt afterwards, I decided.

After getting changed and tugging on my coat tightly around my body, I found Levi in the kitchen. 'I'll be leaving now,' I said, waiting for a reaction. Maybe a good bye.

He simply 'hnn'ed and left it at that. I decided to not push it further. Baby steps.

'See you tomorrow.'

-X-

That night, when I saw Papa, sitting in the living room watching the news, I felt a different wave of guilt for not listening to him.

'Where've you been, darling?' He inquired, watching my throw off my bag and coat.

'Oh, Hanji called in the morning and said she found me a customer. I'll be painting his place for a few days.'

He frowned. 'You mean not with your company?'

'Yeah. So I get paid by myself,' I grinned. 'Did you make dinner or buy take out?'

'Take out. There's pizza on the kitchen table.'

I kissed his cheek. 'Thank you, Papa.'

He chuckled. 'Feeling affectionate today,' he noted as he watched me walk towards the kitchen.

'Am I?' I asked innocently, 'just feeling a little happy today, is all,' I excused. Putting three pizzas in a plate, I heated them in the microwave.

'It's a good client, then?' Papa called out.

My smile faltered a little. 'Something like that.'

-X-

'Why are you looking at me like that?' Hanji asked.

I stalked over to the stool across the counter. 'Do you know who the client was yesterday?' I asked expectantly.

She thought for a moment. 'Some guy. Maybe early thirties. He was hella short and really grumpy looking.'

I stared at her. 'He didn't even give a name?'

'No, why?' She looked a little bemused, and maybe it was the way I was looking at her that made her realize it wasn't great news and reached for the sandwich in the glass case that she knew I liked.

'Levi Ackerman. That's his name.' I drawled.

I waited for her to react to the name, or rather, the last name. It took several seconds for the realization to dawn on her. 'You're kidding,' she whispered.

'Do I look like I'm kidding.'

She slapped a hand to her forehead. 'What a small world.'

I raised a brow. 'That's all you have to say?'

'Well, you don't look like you rejected his request. You're working with him now, aren't you?'

'How'd you know?'

She gestured at the bag at my feet. 'There's your work clothes in there. Or you're coming to my place for a sleepover at 8 in the morning.'

I held back a laugh and glared at her smart ass attempts at a joke.

'That's it?'

She sighed exasperatedly. 'I'm sorry, then. But I didn't know.'

'I know that.'

'Then that's all there is to it. I'm sorry for your misfortunate circumstances, Miss Petra Ral, but that man is not a criminal. At least, not a convicted one right now. He should be just another customer, right?'

I rested my chin on my hand. 'I guess so. I'm still reeling at the coincidence.'

She nodded. 'How uncanny, ey? Why would he move here?'

I shrugged. 'Who knows? I didn't ask.'

'Are you?'

I blinked. 'Yeah. Yeah, I am. I should.'

* * *

_I was a fool for thinking I couldn't love a man like Levi Ackerman. A fool for trying so hard not to fall for him. But they say fools rush in where angels fear to tread. And I was the biggest fool._

* * *

_Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start  
Running in circles, chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are_

* * *

-X-

_**I'm glad you guys liked chapter one : ) It's good to know my stories can be enjoyed. This chapter is a little slow but only for introductory purposes. I don't intend on dragging this story out for very long and I don't have the kind of patience for like 10 chapters of just beating around the bush about characters' feelings, you know? It's just not me. I hope it's a fast paced story, but not zipping through love like it's a joke. We'll see, I guess.**_

_**Of the reviews I received, I thought I'd just quickly answer them here:**_

_**Tanuki2000: To be honest, your review of 'this is good' was incredibly short but incredibly uplifting. It's like, there isn't much to say, except that you approve, and I like that, haha. I feel like it would be something I would say. You're a person of little words, and thank you for your review, which touched me even though its three words, but three words can hold a lot of power indeed ;)**_

_**RainbowSunshine8: One of the best? Really? I'm honoured that you think so from just chapter one, and am very flattered by your compliment. It made me blush.**_

_**Rellimmes: Sometimes the enthusiasm in reviews is enough to make me want to update faster! Which is what happened in this case. You're a darl 3**_

_**ii-Phoenix-ii: You're always leaving reviews on my Rivetra stories and it leaves a smile on my face every time. Thank you : ) And about the quotations, I was taught like that as well, and while I know it is technically grammatically correct, so is just one quotation. I think I first saw it in Harry Potter where JK Rowling just used one quotation mark and it kinda stayed in my head since then cos as a kid I just thought 'the most famous author in the world does it, so it must be ok'. And since then, I've just been too lazy to press the shift button to make it double quotation haha. Sorry if it bothers you, I get like that too sometimes about grammar errors. Not sure if it counts as an error but I can definitely see why it would kinda stick out in writing : )**_

_**Let me know what you guys think of this chapter : )**_

_**xx**_


	3. Heart

_**Disclaimer: Don't own. Must try harder**_

* * *

_**Cry Differently**_

* * *

_**Chapter Three**_

* * *

_My love, leave yourself behind  
Beat inside me, leave you blind.  
My love, look what you can do.  
I am mending, I'll be with you._

* * *

_Beneath my palm was the litany of erratic, wild heartbeats. It was his when he kissed me. I imagined that every time I touched Levi, looked at him for a second longer, his heart would be like this. Like mine would be. Out of control and loud as thunder._

* * *

Later that morning, I didn't bother knocking on the studio door. It would be open, I knew. Inside was quiet, and I found Levi in the first room in the corridor, staring contemplatively at the bare wall. One hand on hip, his eyes was focussed, as though envisioning.

'What're you staring at?'I asked, dropping my bag on the floor.

He looked up. 'You're here.' He stated. 'We'll get started when you're ready.'

I resisted rolling my eyes, and picked up the bag again and headed to the storage room.

-X-

'Did you want all the rooms green?' I questioned, dipping my go roller into the primer. Raising the stick carefully, I started from the beginning of the main area. 'There were tons of buckets of brown paint in the storage room.'

'It was yellow beforehand, as you saw. It's not the nicest colour to look at.' Levi said, starting from the other corner. He didn't wear his headphones today and I took it as a good sign.

'Hmm,' I agreed. 'Even in good condition, I imagine they would've been kind of...drab.'

He glanced at me, but didn't comment.

'Say,' I said, dipping the roller back into the primer, 'If there's a specific kind of design or drawing you'd like in the rooms, I can do it for you. Actual pictures, or sketches. Whatever you like.'

He paused. 'I don't know what you mean.'

'Well,' I rested the roller against the edge of the bucket, letting the excess solvent drip back in, 'I've done city backdrops on walls before. Or painted the sky. For children's rooms I'm an expert at painting cartoons and all. In this place, if there's a specific feel you want it to have, I can paint it. More than just swipes of green. It can be rooms of murals.'

'I'll...think about it.'

-X-

That night, I called into work and was told my team didn't have any customers for the next week and a half, maybe even more.

'Do you want me to find a team for you to be assigned to?' My boss asked.

'It's alright,' I said lightly. 'I'll come in the week after the next, then.'

'Alright. See you then, Petra.'

-X-

The next day, I took my portfolio to the workshop, but didn't take it out until lunch break. Luring Levi into the kitchen with the promise of black coffee with no sugar or milk, I lifted open the cover.

'These are the murals I've done,' I told him. He examined the first page, a wall of flowers I'd painted some time last year. He turned the page, going through them carefully. 'You,' he said, glancing up, 'did these?'

I nodded. 'They're good, aren't they?' I gestured at the open page, a mural of the world map on a lounge wall. I had taken pride in that one. 'Some of them I did with my team, because they were complex. Like,' I skipped the page to one with violent waves, 'this one. The customer was really specific about the waves being as lively as possible. Something about making him feel like he was always at the beach. But mostly, I was hired by myself.'

He turned the page. It was a mural of a snowy hilltop.

'So...what are you going to actually do with this place?' I asked, curiosity finally taking over.

'I'm a carpenter,' he replied. 'This will be my working studio.'

'Okay,' I said, and gently turned several pages in the portfolio. 'There's a few that match a professional workplace. Like this one,' it was a page of wood. Long, thin trunks, coloured rich brown.

'It's good,' he murmured, and hearing his approval after several days of blatant disregard set my heart fluttering.

'How much does it cost?'

I cleared my throat. 'It depends a lot on expenses. All tools, materials and all. This one would cost about two hundred. The less realistic you want it, the cheaper, because it'll be more a work of art than a platform for landscape.'

Remembering something, I turned the page yet again, this one a page of tall bamboo sticks. 'You said you wanted green walls, right? I can do this for one of the rooms if you'd like. They don't need that much detailing, so this would be cheaper. One hundred and twenty? Around there.'

'Hmm.'

He went through three more pages and then closed the portfolio. 'It's good. I'll have a think about what I would like and let you know.'

I nodded. 'Have your coffee.'

He picked up the mug. 'Thanks.'

-X-

'How'd you learn to paint like that?' I heard the question two days later, spoken from across the room that was closest to the kitchen.

'Pardon?' I turned around, putting the roller into the green paint. 'The portfolio,' Levi elaborated. He had his own roller stick leaning against the wall, posture facing me. 'You're a painter and decorator but you've got the skills of an artist.'

'Oh,' I fought down a blush. 'I went to an art school in high school and university. I defected at the end of my second year though.'

'How come?' I couldn't quite say it was interest that was written over Levi's face, but more curiosity, the less subtle kind that wouldn't be noticeable hadn't he been asking the question in the first place.

'After my mum died,' I said slowly, treading the topic as passively as I could, 'I realized I have to be realistic about my life goals. I'm not going to be a Picasso or anything. I love art but there's not much of a career I can make out of drawing on a canvas. So I chose the next closest thing.'

He studied me, his endless grey eyes piercing through me like bullets. I never felt so oddly vulnerable, standing there explaining why I turned my back on my one and only dream. 'You shouldn't have given up.' Was all he said.

'Everything happens for a reason.' I smiled. 'This way I still get to paint.' Dipping the roller back in, I raised it back to the wall. 'Have you decided on a mural, if you still want one? I'd have to know before we paint the rest of the rooms green. The base would have to be white and it'll be a waste to paint over fresh colour.'

'I did,' he replied, voice wafting through the air. It was dull, his voice was, constantly flat and disinterested. But there was something about it, the texture that made it alluring, fascinating.

'Really? What would you like?'

'Like you said, I do want the bamboo, but I want a few more as well. In the room out in the courtyard I want a heart sketch. Can you do that?'

I paused. 'A heart sketch?'

He nodded. 'An actual heart. If you can detail it, that would be great.'

'A heart. As in,' I put a hand to my chest. 'Here? Valves and everything.'

'Yes,' he replied slowly.

'Okay,' I said awkwardly, taken aback. 'What else?'

'In the first room in the corridor I want a lamp post.'

I nodded. 'Sounds good. I'll buy the materials this week.'

-X-

Later that evening, before I left he showed me on his laptop what mural ideas he had in mind, physically. The heart was simple looking, not realistic enough to disturb those who saw it, but artistic enough to allow appreciation for whatever metaphor he had in mind. The lamp post was the most realistic one he wanted, three dimensional and lighted. The bamboos were what I showed him on the weekend.

'Sounds good,' I said, hanging my bag over my shoulder, standing tall to outweigh of the clothes inside. 'I saw white paint in the storage as well. We'll paint the walls of the murals white and have that as the backdrop. The rest will be easy.'

He nodded. 'See you tomorrow.'

It was the first departure he vocally acknowledged, the first one in which he said anything at all, and I had to suppress my grin until the walk home.

-X-

'What is this?' Levi questioned, staring at the plastic bags I had with me.

'Food,' I announced. 'Because I'd like to extend my lunch diet to more than ramen. Look forward to it.' I put the containers in the fridge and joined Levi for work as we set to paint the third room.

By lunch, I was skipping to the kitchen to eat the meal I brought. 'You'll love it,' I told him as he sat at the dining table. Taking the food out of the fridge, I heated them in the microwave. Rummaging through the cupboards some more led me to the discovery of plates, and I set them on the counter.

By the time I had everything heated and on the table, I was smiling proudly. 'Here's your chopsticks.' I put it beside his plate. 'There's rice, chicken stir fry, egg salad and cake. I got the cake from Hanji's cafe on the way here. I thought I'd help encourage your sweet tooth.'

He stared at me incredulously. 'You made all this?'

'I don't mean to brag but I'm a great cook.' I winked teasingly in attempt to draw out a smile from him, but to no avail. He stared, stunned.

'How long has it been since you've had a good meal?' I asked, spooning the rice.

'A while,' he muttered.

'I figured. Maybe we should cook that chicken breast in your freezer tomorrow. Breaks are long enough.'

He didn't reply, putting the first chopstick full of stir fry into his mouth. He chewed slowly, and his expression was too flat for me to understand what he thought. He didn't spit it out, though, and I guess that was enough.

'You said you have an adoptive father. He was Japanese.' I started the conversation. We'd been in each other's company for several days on end now, and I decided it was enough to begin casual talks. 'But you're surname's still Ackerman. How does that work?'

'I was abandoned at his doorstep when I was two weeks old,' he replied emotionlessly. 'In a basket and nothing but a note saying my name was Levi Ackerman.'

I froze slightly, hand wavering over my rice. 'Is that so? Couldn't your adoptive father find your parents easily since your last name was stated?'

'He did. He found out my mother died giving birth to me, and I was only given my name because she asked my father to. And then he left me at a man's doorstep because he couldn't bear responsibility. My adoptive father,' he spoke the word with underlying affection, almost nonexistent, 'was a good man. He took me in but kept my name. So I always had a real identity. Knew what blood I was from. Not that it was much fucking good.' It was the first curse I'd heard him utter, and it was startling.

'Don't say that,' I murmured. 'Your mother might have been a good woman.'

'A woman who married a criminal, bent to his every will. He told me so,' he slowed his speech, as though recalling a memory.

I cleared my throat. 'Then how did you find your real dad? You're the one hired a lawyer for him.'

'My adoptive father died of illness eight years ago. The last thing he told me to do was to find my real father and help him sort out his life. Be good to him like he was the one who brought me up.' He glanced up at me. 'So I found him. Daniel Ackerman. Turns out I found him right after he murdered someone.'

I swallowed a lump in my throat, shoving a spoon of stir fry in my mouth to mask the action. Silence overcame us, and I slowly chewed and he stared at his plate.

'Did you...think he was innocent?'

He shook his head. 'I had to think that. If the family doesn't believe it, who will?'

I thought a moment, carefully choosing my words. 'I saw you at the final trial, you know. Everyone reacted so heavily to the sentence, but you did nothing. I thought it was because you knew it was coming and accepted it, but now that I met you, it just seems to be your character.'

He smirked. 'I knew it was coming. The moment the judge passed the verdict, I was relieved. That man may be my biological father, a man who didn't think twice before abandoning me at a stranger's doormat, but he was a criminal. The justice system works because you can't always think about how people will be affected. Sometimes you just have to do what is right. That man deserves his sentence.'

I was at a loss for words, completely thrown off by his statement. I'd like to think I would've fought for Papa should he have ever been charged guilty, given my all to make sure he escaped prison even if he was truly the criminal. But this man didn't believe in things like that. Blood loyalty, it seems, didn't exist in his book. 'I guess so.'

The rest of the working day was spent in silence, but a different kind from the ones before. A comfortable kind. There was mutual understanding between us, no words needed when we reached for a tool in the hand of the other person, none needed when asking for the other to nudge over. To stop hogging the paint.

By six p.m., the four rooms were done, and all that was needed to be painted was the main area up front, the corridor, and Levi's room out back. Easy work.

'I'll be a bit late tomorrow,' I told him when I found him after getting changed. 'I'll buy the paint for the murals so I won't be here until about noon.'

He nodded. 'I'll give the money for it now.' He disappeared for a few moments to the courtyard, reappearing with an envelope in hand. 'It should be enough.' He reached it out to me but I hesitated to take it.

'Why don't you come with me?' I asked.

He stared.

'It'll be your murals, so you'll pick out the colours you want.' I continued hurriedly. 'And,' I managed a sheepish grin, 'I don't have a car.' I had noticed the blue pick-up truck parked at the front and seen it long enough to know it was Levi's and not a neighbouring shop's. 'What do you say?'

He nodded after a moment. 'No problem.'

'Great. I'll meet you here at the same time then? We'll leave straight away.'

'Sounds like a plan.'

I smiled. 'Well, um, see you tomorrow, Levi.'

* * *

_The colour of his eyes, the kind of grey you'd find in the sky on a gloomy day, became my favourite colour. I saw it in my dreams almost every night, and knew that it would be a shade I'd never forget. If I never saw Levi again, thirty, forty years later I'd forget his face, his features, the baritone of his voice and the line of his shoulders. But his eyes would stay with me like a secret. A secret I'd take to the grave._

* * *

_You took my hand, added a plan,  
You gave me your heart.  
I asked you to dance with me.  
You loved honestly,  
Gave what you could release.  
Ah oh._

* * *

_**I love you all and you all make me smile :***_

_**Let me know what you think **_

_**xx**_


	4. Sceptic

_**It's been so long guys, and I swear it was out of my hands. I'm just so glad I've finally been able to come around to this. **_

_**Disclaimer: Me no own. Must try harder**_

* * *

_**Cry Differently**_

* * *

_**Chapter 4**_

* * *

_Excuse me for a while  
While I'm wide-eyed  
And I'm so down caught in the middle  
I've excused you for a while  
While I'm wide-eyed  
And I'm so down caught in the middle_

* * *

_Don't forget what you love. Don't forget what you know. Don't forget what you believe. Don't forget how you love, how you know and how you believe. Once you do, you lose sight of who you are, and suddenly the future is as bleak as the winter stormy sky._

* * *

The drive to the nearest Masters was quiet and discomforting, as though the baby steps we had taken in the past week seemed to have disappeared, and I shifted twice every three minutes, unable to feel comfortable enough in his presence. It didn't seem to have an effect on Levi, as he drove in silence, but he must have noticed my uneasiness because he reached over and turned on the CD player. It flared to life. After a few minutes, I relaxed and let myself go as a track of Backstreet Boys began from the chorus.

Once we reached Masters, we picked up a trolley at the front and began at the aisles, dumping in everything we need from the paint and the utensils needed. I insisted on paying for the paint brushes myself as I usually used the company's but always needed to buy a set of my own in case.

'What shade were you looking for, for the heart?' I asked him, examining the set of paint shades. The burgundy and milk coffee brown were catching my eye. It would suit the backdrop of his room. He chose the brown and I inwardly applauded him.

'And I'm assuming you want the lamp post just black? More two dimensional against the green wall, right?'

'That's right. I've got the black paint at the studio, so we don't need it.'

'Right.'

When it came down to the bamboo, Levi insisted that he wanted the same green as the rest of the studio, and we settled for a white backdrop and the bamboo over it.

When we were in the brush aisle again, in case I forgot anything, I carefully ran my hands over the different types of brushes. My mind spun through the thickness that the murals would need, and I settled for four brushes, all varying in size and all handheld. I dropped them in the trolley, and just as I was about to push it, another brush caught my eye.

'Just a minute,' I murmured to Levi, reaching over for the packaging. It was more expensive but the strands of it were fine looking and of great quality.

'Maybe I should get this one,' I wondered aloud, but before I could turn to Levi, I heard him breathe in sharply and his hand closed around my forearm, violently pulling me towards him and several steps back as a _crash _went behind me. I stumbled into his chest, heart rapidly beating as my ears rung from the sound.

'What was that?' I breathed, balancing myself. His hands firmly held my arms, helping me keep stability as I pulled back and looked into his eyes. There was a slight frenzy in his orbs, as though he had dodged a terrible accident, and it set my blood thrumming. Clearing my throat, I stepped back and turned. A large bucket of yellow paint was splattered on the floor, and my foot squelched into a puddle of yellow. I glanced up to the top shelf.

'Must have been unbalanced up there. The weight was too much,' Levi stated.

My throat went dry at the idea of a 10kg bucket of paint falling onto me, probably onto my head and into my life.

'Thanks,' I said gratefully, spinning to Levi. 'That could have been disastrous.'

He didn't have time to reply as two Masters workers rounded the corner, no doubt attracted by the loud commotion. 'Are you alright?' One questioned, rushing forward. The other picked up the bucket before more paint could spill out, despite the huge content that now without doubt permanently stained their floors.

'We're okay,' I assured, looking Levi up and down. He had paint on his pants and the hem of his sweatshirt. I glanced down to notice the sticky mess that was my attire, now an array of gold jeans and starburst jumper.

'We're so sorry,' the worker apologized profusely.

-X-

Sorry they were, as we got immediate discounts on the paint. What before would have cost us several hundred dollars cut down to hundred and seventy, my brushes included. It was an accident for the better it seemed.

In the car ride back to the studio, there was a different kind of awkwardness. The look in Levi's eyes replayed in my mind, the frantic fright that I'd never seen before in a person as aloof and collected as he. The possibilities of what could have happened were disturbing, and I figured that was what shook him the most. A split second decision, a moment's reflex could define any person's situation, and mine was stopping again to look at that last minute brush I didn't end up buying. Levi's was saving me before he could even register what was going to happen.

My mind dwelled into things I hadn't thought of since adolescence, the time where I mostly thought of life and the philosophy of it all. It was a nostalgic moment, that car ride was. A twenty minutes spent in deep contemplation about the importance of decisions and the sporadic appearances of coincidences, with a little Back Street Boys in the background.

-X-

'I'll start with the lamp post, since that one is the simplest,' I announced once we unloaded the materials from the pick-up truck. He nodded. 'However you are comfortable.' It was a huge jump from the 'whatever' or 'as long as you do it good' from a few days ago.

I set to work. Pulling on the overalls I had packed in my bag (noting to throw out my paint-stained jeans and jumper when I got home), I held the printed paper of the example lamppost in front of me. Thick at the bottom, and thinning out towards the top. About two meters tall, nearly reaching the ceiling of the room. Tying my hair back, I began.

-X-

In twenty minutes, I was finished. I moved onto the bamboo. It took four hours.

-X-

'I'm done. Just done,' I wiped my forehead and put the newly-washed brush down. 'It's almost seven thirty and I've got to go home. It's been an exhausting day. I'll do the heart tomorrow where it'll take up all day, most likely. That alright with you?'

Levi was staring at the bamboo mural, eyes fixed on the wall. I wondered what he thought, but he didn't seem ready to comment. Without a word, I went to get changed and returned feeling less fresh than I did any other day I left this place.

'I'll leave the brushes here so it's easier to return straight to the job in the morning,' I paused, my eyes wondering to the room with the bamboo mural. 'Is it to your liking?'

'It is,' Levi affirmed. It lightened the pressure. Grinning, I saluted him mockingly. 'I'm honoured to have your approval, Captain,' I joked. He didn't smile, but amusement played in his eyes, like flames licking the air in a dark night.

'I'll see you tomorrow.'

-X-

'You've really dedicated yourself to this recent client of yours,' my dad mused that night. He sat on the sofa I lay opposite to, and I glanced up from the television to look at him.

'How so?'

He shrugged easily, as though trying not to make anything serious of the conversation. 'Paint on your clothes you always keep clean, coming late, leaving early. I've never seen you work so diligently.'

I snorted a laugh. 'I've always been a diligent worker, Papa.'

'I guess you have. What's the client's name?'

My good mood instantly soured, and I eased back into the sofa pillow. 'Client confidentiality, Papa.'

It was his turn to laugh. 'I see.' He didn't push it further.

I prayed it wouldn't come up again.

-X-

'He must be a sentimental fella,' Hanji noted, sliding my coffee across the counter.

'Have you seen the guy, Hanji? I've never met anyone so detached.' I stirred the sugar into the cup.

'Who else gets a heart painting on their bedroom wall? Not even a love heart, but a _heart_, flesh and veins and all.'

I insisted, 'it's a mural. Not a painting.'

'Whatever, Picasso.'

I huffed. 'He's just got peculiar tastes. Or uncommon ones. Doesn't make him sentimental. From what I heard he's got nothing.' _His adoptive father was all he had_, I thought, momentarily distracted.

'And where'd you hear that?' Hanji inquired, looking sceptical.

'He told me. No parents, no siblings, no family at all. Lived by himself for almost a decade.'

'He must be quite talkative too.' She nodded gravely.

I opened my mouth to snap at her, but wired it shut, refusing to patronize her any further.

-X-

* * *

**Levi**

* * *

-X-

The murals were fantastic. Beyond anything I had ever seen been done by nothing but a hand and a brush. She had shown her portfolios days earlier, but it didn't quite hit me what a talented artist she was until she left and I sat across the bamboo mural for several hours, studying the intricate designs of every leaf, every thin trunk.

That night, I picked up the tape recorder, sat against the bed post and pressed record.

'I've realized lots of things today,' I murmured, leaning my head back. 'Art's got a lot more meaning than I thought. Some dreams are meant to be pursued, but are abandoned instead. My new favourite colour is the mixture of golden honey and bright ginger. It's a stunning contrast, isn't it?'

I sighed, closing my eyes and letting the exhaustion of the day wash over my mind. 'But those colours aren't found everywhere together. How much longer will I see it? No more than three days?'

Something shifted outside my room, and my eyes snapped open to the courtyard, but it was only a neighbourhood cat playing with a laundry peg on the floor.

'It makes you wonder,' I muttered, watching the cat enthusiastically paw at the peg, 'if three days is enough.'

-X-

'You painted it already,' Petra exclaimed, stunned.

'I figured I'd make your job a little easier,' I replied.

I had emptied my room of all the furniture the night before, and began painting the backdrop. It took only a little more than an hour, as the room was rather small and the bed and bookshelf would cover up what little mistakes or slushy brushes I made. Dragging the bed into the corridor outside the kitchen, I slept only for an hour or so before dawn before taking it all out into the courtyard.

'This way you can just focus on the mural. No other duties, per say.'

She turned to me, honey gold eyes lightening with appreciation. 'I'm glad that you're really into the whole mural idea. I didn't think you'd buy into it so easily,' she admitted.

'It's hard not to when you've hired such talent.'

Mildly surprised, she turned away. 'Flattery won't lessen the fee,' she said.

An ice breaker was needed every morning, it seemed. It worked well.

-X-

At lunch, she brought bean salad, rice and vegetable soup.

'Not the most colourful lunch,' she said, 'but I was knocked out cold from yesterday's entire running around and all.'

'And yet you had time to make all of this,' I said, tone flat.

'Well, rice and salad don't take long. But my dad made the soup from scratch. His own favourite soup,' she humoured.

I hesitated before picking up my spoon. Who would've thought? Peter Ral would die by his own hands before knowingly feeding me a meal. I didn't voice my thoughts as I watched Petra dig in, humming in approval to her own rice.

Modesty wasn't one of her key traits, for sure.

She let her hair out when we ate. I figured it was due to some headache she seemed to get when she tied it up for long periods of time. I felt disgusted when I saw women eat with their hair down. Their long tendrils dipped into the food without them realizing, and no matter that it was their own; hair in food was hair in _food._ But Petra's hair was nowhere near long enough to touch the bean salad and her precious rice, so I excused it from my mind.

'How do you find the heart, so far?' She asked through a mouthful of rice. My gaze lingered on the stray grain on the corner of her lip before I met her eyes.

'It's looking good. I doubt you'll disappoint in the end.'

'And the other murals?'

'Don't fish for compliments, Ral.'

She rolled her eyes. When I looked back at her lips, the grain was gone.

'I'm only asking if you're happy with it. Can't leave a client unsatisfied now, can I?'

'I'm satisfied.' I disclosed.

It had her beaming, and the gleam in her eye seemed to give depth to her coloured eyes. Like dipping a hand into a bucket of golden metallic paint.

-X-

'I have to take a picture of this,' Petra declared, whipping out her phone to take a photo of the newly finished mural. I stared at it, and down at the example mural she had used as a guide. Almost identical, if not for the difference in shading and colour. It was more alluring in reality than it ever could be in a printed out copy paper.

'To be added to my portfolio,' she grinned at me. 'Thanks for enhancing my credibility for this. I'll take pictures of the others too.' She disappeared out into the courtyard and into the studio, the footsteps of her boots leaving heavy _thuds _on the ground. I drank in the mural, the most miniscule details I planned to study in depth, most likely at night when I couldn't find sleep, or sleep couldn't find me.

Ten minutes and several pictures later, Petra was changed out of her overalls, hair down and framing her face. 'I'm off,' she said, sparing a glance at her wristwatch. 'Leaving early for once.'

I nodded.

'I'll see you tomorrow.'

After she left, I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of juice. But before I could lift it to drink, I heard the front door open. My brows furrowed. Petra must have returned. Placing the glass back on the counter. I usually locked the door soon after she left, but thirst came first.

'Did you forget something?' I called out, walking out into the corridor until the front of the studio. But Petra was not there.

I cursed inwardly.

Peter Ral was staring at me in disbelief and surprise. And anger.

* * *

_Before him, there was no secret I held from my father. He knew everything there was to know. My confidante, my friend, my dad. But there is a first for everything. Levi Ackerman was part of the many firsts for my father and I._

* * *

_Excuse me for a while,  
Turn a blind eye  
With a stare caught right in the middle  
Have you wondered for a while  
I have a feeling deep down  
You're caught in the middle?_

* * *

_**I made it in time for a Valentine's Day update **__** Yayayay. It's been so long, and I've had so much keeping me from this story but I've finally gotten this out. The next update should (hopefully) be out in two weeks, at most. **_

_**And I've finally done it from Levi's point of view. What do you make of it? Good or nah? **_

_**Let me know what you think **_

_**xx**_


	5. Epiphany

_**Disclaimer: Me no own. Must try harder**_

_**Cry Differently**_

* * *

_**Chapter 5**_

* * *

_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

* * *

'_I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of.' Love was but a memory, and Levi knew it all too well._

* * *

**LEVI**

* * *

I sat across from Peter Ral on the dining table, taking in the full force of his glare. Knowing he would reject offer of any coffee, water or tea, I did not offer.

'Why was my daughter here?' He questioned, voice masking the evident rage on his face.

'I've hired her to paint for me.' I replied, simply.

'You hired her knowing that your family is responsible for her mother's death?'

My jaw tightened. 'Petra nor I have anything to do with what happened to her mother. I have done nothing to her.'

Mr Ral's face contorted. 'Have you no shame?'

'I have nothing to be ashamed of,' I snapped. 'There isn't one bad deed I've committed against your family.' I was not a compassionate person. I held no sympathy for others, and didn't tolerate self-pity. Not even towards a man whose wife died because of someone related to me through nothing but blood.

'Does Petra know who you are?' Mr Ral demanded, hand slamming against the table. My fingers curled instinctively. 'No.'

'Do you think my daughter would not recognise the name Ackerman, boy?'

'She calls me Levi Schmidt. I didn't give her my name,' the lies poured from me like a water jug into a glass. The anger in his expression lessened slightly, perhaps influenced by the idea that Petra didn't know who her client was. Had he warned her about me?

'Let me tell you this,' Mr Ral drawled, 'if I see you near my daughter again, I will snap your neck. I'm aware that you are in a business transaction but that is terminated the moment she sets foot in her again.' He stood, scowling down at me. He was a tall man after all. 'I forbid her from working with you, and if I see her near this workshop again, you can be sure that there will be consequences.'

Without another word, he turned to leave. It was until I heard the door shut after him that I realized how rigid my posture was. Loosening my tightened fingers, I inhaled shakily, rage bleeding into all my emotions. I had no reason to listen to him. I had done nothing wrong. Petra was doing nothing wrong. And yet, Daniel's words rang in my ears. _You are and always will be my son. Nothing can change that._

I thought of Petra, the untamed excitement and life forever dancing in her eyes, expressed and reflected with every stroke of her brush. The slight poke of her tongue when in concentration and the fond affection I recognised whenever she glanced in my direction.

-X-

'You'll be excited to see what I've got today,' Petra declared, walking passed me to the kitchen with her hands full with plastic bags. I followed her, watching her take out the food containers and place them in the fridge. 'I went to Hanji's place last night, and we just decided to start cooking and all this delicious stuff was the product. You'll be amazed at our skills, I'm telling you.' She grinned, the fridge door closing shut at the push of her hand.

My hand tightened around the envelope in my pocket, the paper crinkling under my fingers.

'Why are you dressed like that? You look like you just rolled out of bed.' She clicked her tongue. 'I thought you were an early bird.' I had a talent. Or at least, I called it a talent. It was the ability to determine between emotion and necessity in any situation. The ability to switch off all feelings, to cut the influence of my heart over my actions. It was simple enough to do, and I never felt guilt or remorse for it afterwards. This moment had to be one of those. Her words barely registered as I pulled the envelope out and extended it towards her. 'This is for you,' I said.

Bemused, she took it from me. Turning it around, she found no writing on it. 'What is it?' Unfolding the flap, she paused when she noticed what was inside. 'I think you're confusing the days,' she said, closing the flap and reaching it out towards me. 'I'm not finishing here for another two days. Payment is always at the end.'

I pushed her hand away. 'You're finished here today.'

She furrowed her brows. 'I don't understand. There's still finishing touches to be done.'

'I don't need you anymore. I'm satisfied with what you've done. Don't worry, the pay for the next two days is in there too.'

She stared at me, expression caught between offense and anger. 'Did I do something to offend you?' She asked.

'No.'

'So you're just sending me away like that.'

'Is it so hard to understand?'

'Yes!' she burst, arms thrown out in exasperation. 'I don't leave work half complete. We have an agreement and I'm not going to leave without finishing what I've started.'

'You've done a good enough job. I'd like you to leave.'

I didn't miss the hurt and betrayal in her eyes as her arms fell beside her, one hand still clutching the envelope. There was a moment of silence, and I refused to look away from her eyes in case she realized my reluctance. The honey gold orbs were deep, deeper than usual, and with her lips slightly, apart, she looked beautiful.

Without warning, she shoved the envelope into my chest, picked up her bag and stormed passed me. The sound of the door slamming stayed with me for the rest of the day, even as I distracted myself with putting the machinery into the studio, even as I sat across her murals and watched them for hours on end, and even as I silently ate the food she left in the fridge. It tasted delicious, as she said it would. And even though she said she made it with Hanji, I imagined there was a special _Petra _ingredient added to it, one that triggered emotions that would yearn for presence.

I never felt guilt or remorse once I cut off my feelings, but I knew that there was a first for everything, and Petra Ral, sweet mother-less Petra, was my first for many things.

* * *

**PETRA**

* * *

I was left with nothing to do for the rest of the weekend. It gave me time to wallow in my boredom and exasperated state of mind. But boredom aside, it allowed me to think of Levi. The hardness in his eyes, the swift yet threatening movement of his limbs. The strength in his arms that held me that day. And the coldness in his voice when he told me he no longer needed me. It had happened before, a client dismissing me off work before the finished day. But it wasn't because they thought I was necessarily a bad worker, just a really great painter who could finish what she started faster than others. It was a compliment, and yet, Levi's dismissal felt like anything but. I wasn't one for self-pity but I couldn't help it as the days passed.

'I'm finished early,' I told my dad the first night glumly. 'My client didn't want me working anymore.'

'What is one client, Petra? You'll have plenty more.' He dismissed my words as easily as Levi had dismissed me like a cheap amateur painter. It set my blood boiling, so I locked myself in my art room and took out my canvases, preparing the paints and pastels to draw and express my rage. By the end of the night, my piece was halfway done, and although I had the enthusiasm to keep going, I had no energy.

I didn't want to be around people, so I didn't call Hanji for a coffee date, and the company didn't call me in for work. The days were extended and long, which I guess was a side effect of boredom, and it well and truly wore me out. I spent the weekend across my canvas, hands stained and colourful, smudges of pastel down my cheeks. By my third artwork of rage, I decided I would draw Levi like the devil he was.

It took me all day, as pastels were harder to work with than paint. I defined his cheeks, the angry lines below his eyes, his tense jaw and rigid shoulders. His hair was undercut but messy, and the backdrop was a deep grey to accentuate the frightening aura he put off. But by the end of the day, all I drew was a real, raw and beautifully handsome Levi Ackerman. I was mad with myself. Had he always been so good looking?

-X-

Hanji managed to pull me out of the house by Monday, insisting she got Erd, her good friend and a worker, to take care of the coffee shop.

'So he just kicked you out like that?' she questioned as we took a drive to the seaside.

I nodded, numb.

She scoffed. 'Insignificant cunt.'

'Am I ugly?' I asked miserably.

Hanji shot me a side glance. 'You _like _him?' she exclaimed, astonished. 'I thought it was because he didn't pay you.'

'He did.' I murmured.

'He _paid _you? Then what's the problem, Petra?'

I wasn't sure myself. I felt miserable and bored and rejected but I didn't know why. The stupid face of Levi Ackerman floated through my mind, followed by the handsome pastel drawing I made of him, and it made me groan, hitting my head against the window.

'I don't mean to be judgemental,' Hanji began, 'but he's got the scariest scowl I've ever seen. I don't think he's ever smiled in his life and yet you fancy him?' The car sped up. 'Does that even make sense to you?!'

'Why are you screaming?!' I shouted madly, anger raging out of nowhere.

Hanji groaned in exasperation, slowing the car down a little. 'You've barely known him for three weeks,' she muttered to herself, scoffing once more. We didn't say another word until we reached the beach.

Finding a food cart nearby, we bought some hot dogs and sat on the sand, eating it in silence as we watched the waves hit the shore and retract back into the ocean. For some reason, it reminded me of Levi even more, like the tease he was. Giving and then deciding against it halfway. Two steps forward, one step back, like the rips that swallowed the washed ashore seaweed and dragged them back into the water, wetting the sand a little more every time it returned.

'James was nicer,' Hanji commented, biting into her hotdog.

'You mean the guy I dated because he said he liked me, and then dumped me a month later?' I munched, 'good times.'

'You were just starting to like him back too,' she reminisced.

It wasn't helping. I remained quiet.

'Levi comes to the cafe every now and then, and I kid you not that every single woman in his presence makes a point of flirting with him. It must be a bad boy thing.' Hanji said.

An emotion akin to jealousy surged through me, and I wired my jaw shut.

'He can't even hold a proper conversation but is sought out everywhere. I heard he got accepted into Harvard for business but dropped out because he decided he preferred to be a carpenter. And his adoptive father was a pretty well off man so he's got a fortune to his name but owns a studio instead of a house. Can you believe that?' She glanced at me.

'He's just lonely,' I muttered, 'he's got no one but acts like he doesn't care.'

'Hmm, yes. Rich and intelligent with an endless tail of girls following his every move. My heart bleeds for him.'

I sighed at her pessimism. 'No one can get sympathy from you, can they?'

She stared at me incredulously. 'Petra, the man fired you from a job you haven't finished and was rude to you, and all you can think about is how lonely he is. Does that sound normal to you?'

'I've been drowning in my own self pity for days so maybe it's time for a change of thought.' I remarked.

'Yeah, like forgetting his existence and doing something with the money you earned from it.'

'I didn't take the money.'

Silence.

'Why are we even friends?'

-X-

We had dinner at a shabby diner with contradictorily tasty food, and returned home after sunset. I locked myself in my art room again, and pulling out the portrait of Levi, I took out pastels to scribble over it and erase its existence from my life, lest someone find it and discover something about me I wasn't ready to accept yet. But once I ran a black pastel over his face, I instantly regretted it. It lined across his nose and ran over his thought-evoking eyes. I didn't have the courage to ruin it anymore than I had, all my renewed purpose to destroy it replaced with remorse.

* * *

_Maybe I didn't fall in love with you. Maybe I fell out of love with everyone else and you were the first alluring face. Maybe that means the exact same thing._

* * *

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_

* * *

_**I wanted to put a lot more into this chapter, but I figured that if I did it would be too fast for the story, so this chapter is relatively (and unfortunately) short. Hopefully you enjoyed it though!**_

_**PS: not completely edited so mistakes might be everywhere**_

_**You guys blow me away with your feedback and reviews and it fuels my passion to write and update faster!**_

_**Let me know what you think? **_

_**xx**_


	6. Ephemeral

_**Disclaimer: Me no own. Must try harder**_

* * *

_**Cry Differently**_

* * *

_**Chapter 6**_

* * *

_I don't even know if I believe  
I don't even know if I believe  
Everything you're trying to say to me_

_I had the strangest feeling  
your world's not all it seems  
So tired of misconceiving  
What else this could've been_

* * *

_Levi. A two-syllable name that was nothing special. Nobody uttered my name with a distinct inflection. If they did, it was with disinterest, disgust or anger. My name felt like nothing special until Petra uttered it, with curiosity, fondness and joy. Petra uttered my name like a prayer, and it almost made me believe I was loved._

* * *

**LEVI**

* * *

Business was surprisingly steady since I opened the workshop. I hadn't expected to have many clients for the first few months, but it seems I left a good impression on people (professionally at least) at the last company I worked at, so my client book was slowly beginning to fill. It felt good to keep busy and have my own business to run. I installed a bell at the front door and painted an unimaginative 'Carpentry' in blue paint, shying away from 'Ackerman Carpentry' for obvious reasons and 'Levi Carpentry' simply because it felt too vivacious.

The workshop became my home in every sense of the word. Most days, I spent beginning new projects and finishing old ones in time for the clients' deadline. Life was good, I told myself. Working hard guaranteed success and success meant no regrets. It was one of the first things I recorded on my tape recorder. It was one of the first things my therapist told me. It was a useful tip, and despite having not visited old Dr Smith in years, I did recognize the impact he left on my mental health.

Life's good, I thought again as I finished up a vanity mirror and cycled it to the room for finished projects. Clearly labelling it with the client's name, I headed to the kitchen to cook up some ramen. The clock on the wall said it was 6:30 in the evening, leaving plenty of time to complete the bedside drawer that was due to be picked up by the weekend. Everything else was ahead of schedule. But before I ripped open the packaged ramen, the doorbell rang, echoing through the workshop. Putting the package down with dismay, I left the kitchen. The door was usually left open during the day, and should the person have read the 'open' sign, they might have known. But a client was a client, so I opened the door with a masked expression, only to be stunned by who stood beyond it.

'Hey, Team Leader Levi!' Eren greeted cheerfully, mouth pulled into a wide grin. Jean and Armin stood with him, Jean staring with a smirk and Armin holding out a box of chocolates. 'Congratulations on your new business, sir,' he said warmly.

'What are you guys doing here?' I asked, unable to stop my frown.

'We came to visit you,' Eren declared. 'The company said you moved on to begin your own business and we thought we'd treat you to dinner to celebrate.'

'Not needed,' I said curtly, glaring at the box of chocolates in Armin's hands. Hesitantly, I reached out and took it, purely because Armin was undeniably a gentle and good kid, and I was uncomfortable with the idea of disappointing him.

'Come on, Levi! A meal won't hurt. Mikasa's already at the restaurant with Sasha to order the food.' Jean encouraged.

I eyed him. 'Are you joking?'

'Hardly. Go in and change into a clean shirt. We'll leave straight away,' Eren grinned. 'We're not leaving here without you.'

'No,' I turned back inside. The boys followed, moaning in frustration at his lack of compromise. 'Only for a couple of hours, sir,' Armin said, looking around the workshop as he followed.

'Stop calling me that,' I snapped, dumping the chocolate box on the kitchen counter. 'Levi,' he corrected.

It took a solid ten more minutes before I finally agreed to join them, albeit unwillingly.

-X-

Eren, Jean, Armin, Mikasa and Sasha, or the little shits as I liked to call them, were a bunch of teenagers I used to teach when they decided to do work experience at the carpenting company some years back. Despite my obvious dislike for children, the boss thought it would be a splendid idea if I became their team leader and guided them through carpentry. They haven't left me alone since.

It's been several years since then, and only Jean and Eren took up carpentry as a profession this year when they turned eighteen, the others choosing to go onto university. Despite the obvious divergence of paths, they didn't fail to find me every few months and tag along with whatever I was doing. I didn't particularly hate their presence, but to say I enjoyed it would be an overstatement and an offense to my idea of a good time. Regardless, I didn't complain at the dinner, choosing to indulge in the dishes that Sasha knew I enjoyed and therefore ordered. The girl knew her stuff; it was undeniable.

'So what have you guys been doing?' I inquired out of obligation.

'I've decided to study engineering,' Armin stated, 'it's what I'm most interested in.'

I nodded. 'You'll do well, considering you're the only one with intelligence on this table.'

Jean coughed.

'Mikasa's going to the police academy, aren't you, Mikasa?' Armin turned to the girl at the far end of the table. She nodded.

I raised a brow. 'I thought you were enrolling into uni.'

'I changed my mind. It's not really my thing.' She replied. She rolled her shoulders, as though trying to smooth out a kink, and I figured she'd do a fine job as an officer with her glaring muscles. She'd always had a thing for playing rough.

'What about you?' I turned to Sasha beside me.

'I'm doing an arts course for now. Not sure where I'll take it though,' she was watching her chicken like it was going to fly away, stabbing it with her fork and tearing it apart. Her dedication to her meal was as astounding as it always had been.

'Say, si—, Levi.' Eren corrected. I glanced up, pinning him with a bored stare.

'Jean and I were thinking we can do our apprenticeships under you. Since, you know, you've started your own business now.'

'No.'

'Please?'

'Is this what this dinner's about?'

'No,' Jean cut in, 'it's not. We just learnt really well from you during work experience, and was hoping to _continue_ learning from you,' he glared at Eren. 'That's what he meant. We'd greatly appreciate it if you'd take us under your wing.'

'I'm touched by your eloquent words, but no.'

Jean sighed in dismay.

'Why not?'

'I dealt with you little shits enough back in the day. I don't need four more years of that experience.'

'We'll be the best pupils you've ever had,' Eren stated hopefully.

I snorted. My _only _pupils too. Incapable little fucks.

'We'll do you proud.'

'And if you don't?'

There was a pause. 'I'll supply you with a year's worth of coffee. The best brand.'

It was my turn to be silent. I contemplated the offer. 'Is that a year's worth from both of you?' I glanced at Jean. His brow twitched. 'I won't fall that low. We'll pay together. It's the best brand so they're expensive.'

That was good enough. 'Deal.'

-X-

Apprenticeship forms took the boys about a week to complete, so I was a free man for a solid seven days before dedicating myself to their idiocies. I was Levi, I could make these delirious teenagers into full fledged carpenters. No problem at all, I told myself.

Five days before I was stripped of my independency, an unexpected, and very much _unwelcome_, Ral stepped into the workshop.

I stared at Petra as she stood uncomfortably in the main room, shifting her weight from one foot to another. A dread settled in my stomach, accompanied by yearning and a unique sorrow.

'What are you doing here?' I questioned, keeping my tone void of emotion. Maybe it would drive her away.

'I came to get Hanji's containers. She wanted them back,' she murmured. It was a bluff. An excuse to be here. A deep, dark part of me was thrilled at the idea of her wanting to be near me, _with_ me. But logic rejected her presence entirely. 'I'll get them for you.'

I searched the kitchen cabinets for the containers she had brought, now washed and dried. It hadn't occurred to me at the time that she'd come back for them. She'd left so indignantly that I figured she'd be too proud to return. Apparently not. Throwing the containers into a plastic bag, I stepped out into the room and handed it to her. She slowly reached for it, her nimble fingers cold as it brushed against mine. 'Thanks for washing them.' She shifted again.

'I see you've done well with this place,' she observed, making light of the conversation. 'It looks good. I hope business is flowing.'

'It is,' I replied, voice clipped.

She nodded. 'I guess I'll see you around.'

She turned to go, unaware of the flaring rage that her comment ignited in the pits of my gut. 'Petra,' I said. She paused, head turning to glance at me. 'There's no reason for us to meet after this. I'd appreciate it if you didn't come here again.' It was meant to anger her, enough not to return, but it only seemed to cut her. She swallowed, nodding numbly. 'Okay.'

And then she left, taking with her the warmth that I didn't realize she brought.

-X-

'I don't think she knows,' I muttered into the tape recorder. 'I don't think she realizes that I watch the murals every sunset until it's too dark to see them. That I watch them because it reminds me of her.'

* * *

**PETRA**

* * *

My shift back into painting was odd and new, as though I began working as a painter for the first time. I figured it was because it'd been so many weeks since I'd been called in for a paint job that I was a little rusty. My team members didn't seem to realize the difference, but my hand felt stiff when I held the paint brush, running it along the doorframes of a soon-to-be clinic in the neighbourhood. What they did seem to realize was my lack of enthusiasm.

'What's with the face today, Petra?' Aurou asked, making a face. 'You didn't miss me?'

It made me laugh. 'It's hard to miss you when you leave very unpleasant memories.' I replied, and he mocked an expression of disappointment. 'Just when I was beginning to think you were starting to enjoy my tacky jokes.'

'Tacky indeed,' Erd remarked from across the room. 'Back to work, you two.'

Aurou rolled his eyes. 'Why are you so tight today? Did you fiancé break up with you?'

Erd turned to glare at him. 'As a matter of fact, yes, so I'd very much prefer it if you shut up for a few hours.' Aurou laughed, and Petra noticed the hint of a smile on Gunther's lips from where he was painting the green feature wall.

'It's alright, Erd, she'll call you soon enough.' Aurou assured.

I couldn't help but agree. 'You've been together for ages, she won't call quits so easily.'

Erd grunted and turned his back to us.

Aurou deemed it wise to not bother him for the rest of the day. As I smoothed out the last of the paint on the doorframe, my thoughts drifted to Levi and how he was doing. I couldn't find it in me to walk past his workshop, especially after my lame attempt to take back Hanji's stuff not two days ago. His cold rejection stung a lot more than it should have, and for unclear reasons.

Since it occurred, I dreamt of it every night, like a recurring nightmare, and cursed myself for thinking so much about a person who was clearly not worth it.

-X-

'I didn't even realize they were gone,' Hanji mused as I handed her the plastic bag of containers.

'You're supposed to thank me.'

'Thanks, Petra. Did he eat the food I wonder?'

'Probably threw it out,' I said glumly, following her into the kitchen.

'That would've been a waste.'

I didn't have the face to tell her how he treated me that day, and was thankful she didn't ask. 'So how've you been? Still mourning your loss over lover boy?'

I scowled at her. 'I don't like him.'

'Hmm. And I'm an Olympic swimming champion.' Hanji put the containers away into their respective cabinets.

'But I don't,' I insisted.

'Petra, the sooner you accept your feelings, the sooner you can get over him. So hurry up.' Pulling out a plate of cake from the fridge, she offered. I shook my head.

'I haven't even known him for that long. How can I like him?'

'I've heard from the scientific community, of which you know I'm a great fan and loyal follower of, that the brain determines whether a person is a compatible mate within seconds of interaction. Which is why first impressions are important,' she added.

'That's a very uncomfortable idea.'

'I agree. But it makes Romeo and Juliet slightly more realistic, don't you think?' She paused a moment. 'Should I make popcorn for a movie night?'

What a great, great, great idea. 'Sounds good.'

-X-

I knew there was something very wrong with my thinking process a few days later, when I shamelessly, and boldly, walked past the workshop one morning on the way to work. The very moment I caught sight of it, my feet froze, but I willed forward. I could pass it off as a coincidence if he caught me, I reasoned. Feeling moisture on my face, I realized it was spitting, and deftly stopped mid step to take out my umbrella. The forecast had said it would be raining heavily after all.

Opening the umbrella, I managed two steps passed the workshop before the painted word on the door caught my eye. I stopped. 'Carpentry'? I almost snorted. Could he be any more conventional? It must be part of being a man, I realized. Lack of creativity and imagination was an inevitable side effect of being—

I noticed a shift behind the pull up blinds and my blood ran cold. Before I could get caught, I practically sprinted down the road. My heart was pounding by the time I reached the other side, and I bent over to catch my breath. This was ridiculous. I couldn't tiptoe around him for the rest of my life. For what? Composing myself, I raised the umbrella over my head and deftly continued on my way with all the grace I could possess. I wouldn't be bushy-tailed, love struck teenager all because of a small crush.

As I walked towards the bus stop, I didn't let my mind dwell on the fact that I finally accepted what could possibly be my feelings for Levi Ackerman.

-X-

Our team had just finished up painting the bottom floor of the clinic when I got a phone call. Sparing a glance at the ID, I raised a brow when I read that it was my dad. He rarely ever called during the day. Putting the brush down and taking off my glove, I excused myself to the other room.

'Hello,' I spoke.

'Petra.'

'What's up, Papa?'

'I've got something to tell you, but don't react.'

I frowned. 'What is it?'

'As you know, Daniel Ackerman's reaching his eighth year in prison this August.'

Of course I knew. It would mark half his sentence. It was hard not to keep track of his years. 'Yes.'

'He's applying for two-year parole. He might be out before October.'

* * *

_There was a barrier between Levi and I that could never be removed. Forever there to haunt us, gloom over our souls. The barrier was Daniel Ackerman, and no matter how much he denied it, I knew Levi often remembered him when he saw me. His father's sins followed him like a ghoul, never quite letting him have his peace._

* * *

_I don't even know if I believe  
I don't even know if I believe  
Everything you're trying to say to me_

_So open up my eyes__  
__Tell me I'm alive__  
__This is never gonna go our way__  
__If I'm gonna have to guess what's on your mind_

* * *

_**It's been so long since I've updated, and I'm super sorry about it. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter. And just saying, the next chapter is worth looking forward too! It's got some scenes I know people have been waiting for since chapter one, so look out for the next update. Hopefully I'll have it out before two weeks run out. I've got a cold right not, meaning I'm lazing around at home with tissues. With enough luck, I might have it out within days!**_

_**Love &amp; Respect **_

_**xx**__  
_


	7. Imbroglio

_**Disclaimer: Me no own. Must try harder**_

_**Probably not edited**_

* * *

_**Cry Differently**_

* * *

_**Chapter 7**_

* * *

_There's a calm surrender to the rush of day  
When the heat of the rolling world can be turned away  
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through  
It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you_

_And can you feel the love tonight  
It is where we are  
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer  
That we got this far_

* * *

_Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in._

* * *

**PETRA**

* * *

I don't know what possessed me to go to the prison, but whatever it was, I sure as hell prayed it didn't happen again. I sat in the visiting room, fidgeting with my fingers and constantly shifting in my seat. I wasn't afraid of meeting Daniel Ackerman. Hadn't been in a long time. Intimidated, yes. Unwilling, yes. Afraid, no. He may have been a murderer, a man who killed a mother and a wife in cold blood in a house robbery gone very, very wrong, but at the end of the day, he was behind bars and beyond help.

When he entered the room, my heart didn't seize up the way I expected it to. My blood didn't freeze over, and my hands didn't clam. When he saw me, he looked reasonably shocked, but his face then contorted into displeasure.

'Didn't expect to see you visiting me,' he sneered, taking a seat.

'I couldn't help myself,' I admitted, shifting yet again.

'Fidgety I see.' He observed. 'Is there a reason you blessed me with your presence?' The mockery in his tone was offensive, meant to provoke my anger. But if there was one thing I'd taken from my father, it was his patience.

'Guess I just came to see for myself.'

'Hmm, yes. I'd hate to disappoint, but I'm not retracting my appeal.'

'Can't say I'm not disappointed.'

He smiled, wryly, and there was something cold and sinister about it. 'You've changed a lot from that whimpering young girl in the back of the courtroom, Miss Ral.'

'It's not worth mentioning that you saw me at the lowest I've ever been in.' My hands were beginning to clam, a delayed response to the entire situation. I found it strange, considering I was feeling unexpectedly calm.

'I guess not.'

'Are you going to ask Levi to hire you a lawyer?' I asked.

His smile extended, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.

'I see you've met my son.' His son? I held back a snort.

'You're awfully possessive over a child you never took care of.'

'Doesn't make him any less my son, Miss Ral. Which is why he will hire me a lawyer and be there to push for my appeal.'

I grimaced at his confidence. 'He hates you.'

'Emotions like love and hate don't matter when you're blood, young girl. Because in the end, a son will always turn out like his father.' He said with glee, as though the irony of the situation was hilarious. What patience I had snapped, and I slammed my hand against the table.

'He's nothing like you,' I hissed. 'He won't ever be like you.'

'You are defending the son of a killer.' He reminded me.

I don't know why, but I was suddenly hit with a memory from literature class, all those years ago. Sitting in the classroom and talking of themes in the novels we read. One specific one, embedded in my mind for reasons unknown, resonated in my thoughts.

Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Friendships and bonds made with those you care about are worth more than those of genetic similarities. My hand clenched on the table.

'He may be your biological son, but there is no part of you that exists in Levi.' Just as I said it, the guard in the corner of the room stood up. 'Visiting times are finished,' she announced.

I got to my feet, hand gripping my bag strap as I turned to leave.

It was only when I was outside that I realized I was holding in a breath and hadn't let it out. Exhaling slowly, I flexed my hands. What had I done? But I had no time to dwell on it, no time for regrets. I composed myself and took the way out.

* * *

**LEVI**

* * *

The boys weren't doing too badly. For second time apprentices, they should have been doing better, but for their first week, I could've expected worse. On the weekend, we were called in for a window job in the neighbourhood. Some street kids were playing soccer when they shattered two windows—simultaneously. How the little shits managed that was beyond me, but I wasn't one to offer my opinion. When I took off with Jean in passenger and Eren in the backseat, I prepared myself for the distractions that would ensue. For the obedient kids they were, they were hella annoying, singing along to a song on the radio that Jean turned on. I doubted they had any idea about road safety, considering neither of them bothered to get their drivers license. If I were any less of a good driver —which I was already damn good at being— I would've crashed three turns in. But my lack of enjoyment for their company made it easier to keep my eyes on the road.

We got the job done in less than an hour and a half. It was a quick job mainly because the owner of the house was an obsessive who kept spare glass windows in the garage because she 'knew those kids would cause trouble someday'. But at the same time, it was relatively slow considering the circumstances because Eren and Jean were being incredibly cautious, and consequently, slowing me down.

The house owner paid us handsomely for replacing her precious windows and we were off back home. Well, my home. For a dinner Eren promised to make. We had a quick stop at the supermarket where Eren picked out all the ingredients needed while Jean headed over to the next door deli to buy steak. Another hour later, I was in the kitchen, watching Eren expertly cook up dinner. Albeit, cook the steak and steam vegetables while Jean prepared the packaged gravy. It wasn't the most exquisite dinner to have, but I knew they were simply trying to show their appreciation. I'd soak up all the benefits I could before they realize it was they who had the short end of the stick.

'So how was the outside job, Team Leader?' Eren asked with a grin.

'Levi,' I corrected, stabbing the steak.

'Levi,' he amended.

'Well enough. A little slow, but it's expected for first timers. Even if it's not your first time on the job.' I looked up from the plate to pinpoint him with a stare. He took it with stride and grinned wider.

'We could only improve.'

'I did better than Eren though, right?' Jean interjected.

'Just as shit.'

'You're being really cruel right now.'

'Honesty is a virtue,' I voiced dryly.

They simply laughed it off.

After dinner, they thank me for the day, I grudgingly thank them for the dinner, and they leave. I'm left to my own company for a solid ten minutes before I receive a phone call. Struggling to contain my exasperation, I picked up without looking at the ID.

'I expected you to reject the call.' I froze in my step across the courtyard.

'What do you want?' I grimaced.

'Hmm, just wanted to hear your voice.' My mood darkened, insides turning in disgust.

'Stop calling me.' I demanded.

'Can't a father call his only child?' he chuckled.

I didn't respond.

'I'm assuming you heard about the parole I'm applying for. You can guess I'm expecting you to wait for me out there when I'm released.'

'How can you be so brazen? Figure out your own shit.' I spat viciously.

'I'm the brazen one?' A humourless laugh. 'It was your girlfriend who expected you to hire the lawyer for me again. She overestimates our familial bond too much, it seems.'

My eyes widened, blood pumping in my ears. 'What?'

'She didn't tell you? Your girlfriend was here just a few days ago. Dare I say congratulations on bedding the one person I wouldn't have placed money on, Levi? That was quite a feat.'

Rage surged through my veins. 'What did you say to her?'

'Nothing. She's the one who came, telling me I have no rights over you. Presumptuous and indignant like her father.' He mused.

I felt sick to my core.

Without a reply, I ended the call.

-X-

To say I didn't receive a wink of sleep would have been a dire understatement. Thoughts of Petra being in the same room as Daniel, being in the same room _alone _Daniel left me restless and frustrated. Helpless. The girl was an idiot. What was she thinking, going to visit him?

No matter how many times I turned the idea over in my head, I couldn't make sense of it, so how did Petra manage to come to the conclusion that it was a sensible idea? I tossed and turned until sunrise, at which I got up and put my sleeplessness to use by finishing up client jobs in the studio. I did it in the room with the bamboo mural, and every time I saw it, I was reminded of Daniel's call.

When half past nine rolled by, I put on my coat and took off to visit Hanji's coffee shop. Having only opened up, she was surprised to see me, considering I usually didn't appear until noon. 'The usual?' she asked, tossing her vibrant curls over her shoulder. 'Where is Petra?' I asked directly. There was no patience in me to wait until the next time she pranced into my shop, like she owned the place, like she _belonged._ And she did.

Hanji's brows furrowed. 'She's at work. Why?'

'Where does she work?' Couldn't she pick up the impatience in my tone? Was I being too neutral about this?

'Her company is in the next neighbourhood, but from what I know her team's working in the city for the next week. Not sure where it is.' I wasn't getting anything here. Without another word, I left, but not before hearing her shout out, 'I'll let her know you want to see her!'

Why hadn't I ever taken her number? I cursed every logical nerve in my being as I took off down the road.

* * *

**PETRA**

* * *

'Did you do something to piss him off?' Hanji asked curiously.

'Why do you ask?' I wiped my forehead and peeled off my glove. It was break time and time to eat as the team circled the table of food that we'd brought with us.

'He came in here an hour ago demanding where you were. When he couldn't find you, he just stormed off.'

My heart pace quickened. Not from excitement, but from nervousness. Had he found out? 'I didn't do anything.' I replied. 'Could you sound any more guilty, Petra? What did you do, key his car?'

'No,' I said.

'He's mad about something. I told him I'll tell you he was looking for you, but my advice is stay away until he cools off.'

'Yeah,' I said uncertainly. 'I'll do that. Thanks, Hanji.'

'Any time.'

-X-

It was unreasonable to feel anxious about this. I hadn't done anything wrong. And there was no proof that he knew. Daniel Ackerman wouldn't have called him, would he? And even if he had, what was it to Levi? I was a woman with freedom, and I could visit whoever I wanted. Before that man was Levi's father, he was my mother's killer. There was nothing Levi could say to that.

I was surprised at how calmly I was handling the situation. I'd all but collapsed in panic attacks when I saw Daniel Ackerman all those years ago, standing in court with a wicked, insane smile. And now, I had had a tense but flowing talk with him. I hadn't crumbled in fear in his presence. There was a sense of pride that bloomed in me at the thought of finally facing what my demons. Mum would be proud, I told myself. She wouldn't want us to be miserable. She'd want us to move on. Trauma days were over now, and despite pushing it aside, I couldn't deny the nagging feeling in my stomach that Levi had something to do with that.

Several days later, it was a Thursday, and I was tired of treading on egg shells. If he wanted to talk to me, I would confront him head on. There was nothing to fear in _Levi_, no matter how cutting and painful his words could be. After work, I approached the workshop and pushed the door open. But before I could take a step inside, I almost bumped into two boys, several years younger than myself. They stared for a moment before welcoming me in.

'If you were looking for the head carpenter, he's inside. I'll call him,' one smiled.

'It's okay, I can wait.' I shifted. 'Do you know Levi? I haven't seen you around here before.' They were fresh out of high school, I could tell from the gleam in their eyes. One was taller than the other, dirty blonde hair falling into his face, but not hindering his wolfish grin. 'I'm Jean, and he's Eren,' he gestured to the shorter one with darker hair. 'We're his apprentices.'

'Oh,' I was surprised. In the solid minute I was in their presence it was evident they were genuine workers and good people. 'What are you doing with an old grump like Levi? I'd imagine he puts you down a lot,' I joked with a laugh. They grinned.

'He ain't all that bad all the time,' Jean said. 'We did our work experience with him a few years ago. Worked with him long enough to see he's rough around the edges but not all that bad.'

'How do you know Team Captain Levi?' Eren asked.

I shifted again, slightly uncomfortable. 'I helped paint this place.' I said with a smile.

Eren's eyes widened. 'Are you the one who painted the murals in the rooms?'

I relaxed a little. 'Yeah.'

'Wow, you're a real talent, Miss. They're a work of art.'

'Thank you,' I said warmly.

'What are you doing here?' the sudden voice sent delicious sparks down my spine and made my hair stand on end at the same time. I turned to see Levi standing in the corridor, scowling. 'I heard you wanted to see me,' I replied, determined to keep my cool.

'We were just leaving when we ran into her at the door, Levi,' Jean said.

'Are you planning on staying the night?' Levi glared.

'No.' And with a quick shuffle and warm goodbye to me, the boys left. The silence that followed was tense and rigid, like a heavy blanket on my shoulders.

'Why'd you visit him?' Levi demanded.

I licked my lips that were suddenly dry. So I was right that this was what it was about. 'It's none of your business.'

'You know it is,' he scowled. 'You can't visit my father and expect me to not get mad.'

'I didn't visit him because he's your dad,' I snapped. 'I knew him much longer than I knew you.'

'And that gives you a reason to visit him, does it? What'd you do, take flowers and chocolate as well? Tell him you're praying that his parole is granted?' He questioned harshly, taking a step forward.

I flinched at his words.

'This isn't a game, Petra. Stop seeing me. Stop seeing my dad. Why don't you understand that we are nothing but a danger to you?'

My eyes flashed. 'Is that what this is about? You think because I stopped seeing you I went to see him? To _replace _you?'

'You know that's not what I mean,' he growled.

'So you're saying you're dangerous?' I demanded.

He gritted his teeth. 'I am his son—'

'What does that even mean?!' I yelled madly. 'What does that matter?! How does that define you?' I took a rash step forward, bringing us closer. It was dangerous territory that I was stepping into. The dragon's lair. 'You are not your father.' I hissed. 'The sooner you accept that the sooner you'll realize everyone else has too.'

'I am his son,' Levi scowled. It was the very words Daniel had said. As though genetic predisposition meant anything at all. 'My very being is a threat to you and your father. My dad is a killer, and your family is a victim of his crimes. There is nothing I can do to mend that.'

'You sure as hell weren't whistling that tune a few weeks ago,' I pointed out. 'Wasn't it you who was saying you have nothing to do with your father's crimes? That our partnership can't be affected by something that has nothing to do with us?'

He grimaced. 'That was then. This is now.'

'What changed? I should have known it then. That for all your big words you blame yourself for what happened to my mum. That you're afraid you'll end up like Daniel Ackerman. You are _nothing like him._ Why do you carry a burden you aren't held to?'

My voice echoed into the empty studio. Silence followed. Like a cue. We only stared at each other. In his hard, emotionless eyes I could see the reflection of the wild frustration in my own, and I could imagine what I looked like, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

'Leave.' One word, one syllable. But despite the stoic expression on his face, I heard the underlying battle in his tone. As though he was struggling to contain himself, struggling to maintain control. It was a fight I wanted to watch, but I had no place there, so I stepped back.

'You're crazy,' I said. 'Telling me to never come back here, and then demanding to see me. Disciplining me on never approaching you again and then telling me to leave. Stop toying with my emotions. I'm not some fid—'

My words faltered as he pulled me forward into his rough embrace and his lips descended on mine.

* * *

_Home is where you felt you belonged. Where everything made sense and you never wanted to leave. For me, home was in Levi's arms._

* * *

_And can you feel the love tonight  
How it's laid to rest  
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds  
Believe the very best_

_There's a time for everyone if they only learn  
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn  
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors  
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours_

* * *

_**Dun dun dun...cliff hanger. My favourite : ) let me know what you guys think! The more reviews there are the faster I'm inclined to update!**_

_**Love you guys and thank you for your support **_

_**xx**_


	8. Cynosure

_**Disclaimer: Me no own. Must try harder**_

_**Probably not edited**_

* * *

_**Cry Differently**_

* * *

_**Chapter 8**_

* * *

_She is something to behold__  
__Elegant and bold__  
__She is electricity__  
__Running to my soul_

_And I could easily lose my mind__  
__The way you kiss me__  
__Will work each time__  
__Calling me to come back to bed__  
__Singing Georgia on my mind_

* * *

_Since I've met you, my measurement has only been in heartbeats_

* * *

**LEVI**

* * *

'You're crazy,' Petra spat. 'Telling me to never come back here, and then demanding to see me. Disciplining me on never approaching you again and then telling me to leave. Stop toying with my emotions. I'm not some fid—'

Maybe it was the frowning tilt of her lips, maybe it was the rage and anger burning in her eyes or the heartbreak beneath, but my last string of self-restraint snapped before she could finish the sentence as I pulled her roughly by the wrist and crushed my lips against hers. My mind went blank as I drowned in the feel of her, like a thirsty man breaking his fast. Tracing the seam of her lips with my tongue, I relaxed when she hesitantly let me in, allowing me to delve in, and felt her melt into my arms. She tasted of coffee and Anzac biscuits, like she'd had them for lunch. And of something else, something distinctly Petra but suspiciously lemony with a hint of grapefruit. Entranced, I probed further, nibbling and suckling until we were breathless and had to pull apart. Her breath fanned over my nose as her lids fluttered open. My heart clenched when she stared at me, eyes reflecting betrayal and shock, and oh so subtly, hope.

I felt willpower returning to me, and my hands loosened on her forearms, lips opened and ready to apologise, but before I could, she pulled me back down for another kiss, firmer this time. And with that, all my resolution melted away as I stumbled forward, leaning her against the nearest wall and holding her face in my hands, kissing her with all the strength I could muster. She gasped against my mouth, hands fisting in my shirt in an effort to pull me closer. My mind blanked as I drowned in her taste, unable to get enough. And when she let out a silent gasp, I attached myself to the column of her throat, tasting her skin. Her hands wound up in her hair, tracing below my undercut and her throaty moans only fuelled my need to have more of her. I left kisses along her jaw before drawing her face closer for another kiss and she willingly gave in.

Whether it was hours or minutes later, when we broke apart, she did not let me get far, wrapping her arms around my neck and resting her forehead on my collarbone. She feared I would leave her, I realized. But I wouldn't. Not after having tasted her kisses, her skin. Wounding my arms around her, I sighed against her hair, wondering how I had endured so long.

-X-

I watched her lips, tracing it with my finger. We were lying on my bed atop the covers, watching each other, memorising each other. It was as though we were making up for lost time as we traced each other's features.

'I always thought your eyes were beautiful,' she murmured, lightly touching above my brow. 'They're like the clouds right before a storm, and I feel like I get swept away every time.'

I had nothing to say, entranced by the movement of her lips as she spoke. My forearm brushed against her clothed shoulder, but I felt electricity course in my veins all the same.

'Your father will be worried about where you are,' I said.

She hesitated. 'I can call and tell him I'm staying over at Hanji's place. If you don't mind me being here.'

Blood humming in my ears, I weighed my options. No matter how attracted I was to her, no matter how much her soothing voice lured me in, I refused to sleep with her. Not tonight. From the look in her eyes, I knew she read my thoughts instantly.

'Just to sleep. Nothing more.' She said softly.

I brushed my thumb under her eye. 'Better call your father, then.'

-X-

We fell asleep in each other's arms, or rather, I fell asleep in hers. I had been a light sleeper for as long as I could remember, waking up multiple times in a night from the smallest sounds or movements. It was two hours after midnight according to the clock on my wall when I stirred from my slumber to light drawings on my chest. Cracking an eye open, I watched Petra as she drew patterns along my shoulder and collarbone.

'Why aren't you asleep?' I asked scratchily.

She glanced up, mildly surprised at the fact that I was awake but relaxed instantly. 'I don't know,' she replied, voice a little more than a whisper.

I waited patiently as she sorted her thoughts, but never stopping her pattern-drawing. Her touch was warm and welcoming, and I fought hard not to be lulled back to sleep.

'I think I'm scared that you'll leave. That you'll push me away. It's crazy. I'm in your home so there's nowhere for you to go, but I'm still afraid.' She paused. 'All you've done is push me away until now.'

Understanding her fear, I took her hand into mine, kissing her fingers. 'Not anymore.' I murmured. 'It'll be hard to push you away from now on.'

She smiled. 'Because I'll be clingier than ever now that you kissed me?'

I couldn't help but crack a smile in return. 'That too. But because I can't ignore my reaction to you any longer. To do so would be doing more damage to both of us. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have.' I pulled her closer and she relaxed into my embrace, resting her head against my chest.

'Get some sleep,' I murmured, and she tightened her hold. Pulling the covers up higher to rest over her shoulders, I allowed myself to fall back asleep.

-X-

When I awoke in the morning, Petra was nowhere in sight. I panicked for only a brief second before reasoning that she was probably inside somewhere, and stood to go to the bathroom and clean myself up.

Appearing in the kitchen fresh faced, I was taken aback at seeing Petra at the stove, making eggs. She had her back to me, humming as she scrambled the food and turned the stove off minutes later. Scraping the egg into equal portions on two plates, she put the pan in the sink before turning around and noticing me for the first time.

'You're up in time for the toast to not go cold,' she smiled brightly, gesturing towards the table where she had a plate of toasts and jars of jam and nutella. 'I'll make coffee.' She turned to the kettle, turning it on and rummaging the small pantry for coffee.

'You didn't have to,' I said stiffly when we were both seated.

'But I wanted to.'

I silently bit into the first toast, pleasantly surprised to see that there was no butter on it, the way I liked it. Although, that was to be blamed on the fact that I ran out of butter several days ago and was too lazy to go out and buy more.

'Do you want to talk about yesterday?' Petra asked, scooping up egg onto her spoon. She didn't meet my eye as she said it. 'I know you pretty much said last night that you don't regret —'

'I don't,' I said.

'Yes, well, I just wanted to make sure that we were...on the same page.' She finished awkwardly.

I put the toast down. 'I'm not going to lie to you, Petra. You can do so much better than a scum like me. Given our family's history, I'm the last person you should even loo—'

'I said I don't care about that,' she retorted.

'I know, but you can change your mind at any given time, and I want you to know I won't hold it against you for a single second.'

She stared at me, stunned. 'I'm almost offended that you can even suggest I'm fickle with my decisions, especially when I've never been as sure of myself as I am right now.'

To hear her say it with so much certainty lifted a weight off my shoulders I didn't realize I carried. It wouldn't be farfetched to say I was afraid that she'd one day realize that I was good for nothing and leave me, and I'd be too far in over my head to be able to dig myself out.

'There will be difficulties, Petra. Your father does not like me, he hates me, he will oppose before you could even say 'but'—'

'My father doesn't know about you.'

I grimaced, and her features took up an expression of shock as the realization settled. 'Was it because of him?'

I didn't reply.

She put down her spoon. 'When?'

'The day before I told you I didn't want to work with you anymore.'

Silence overtook us, and I didn't have the stomach to take another bite of food. Leaning back against my chair, I waited for her to talk, to finally speak what was on her mind.

'He told you to stay away from me?'

'Yes.'

'And end our business arrangement?'

'Yes.'

'You just listened to him,' her face contorted into anger. 'Do you know how much you put me through? All because he told you to?'

Gritting my teeth, I bit out, 'he was right. I don't deserve to even look at you. How could I dare to have a place in your life? It was the right time, Petra, I don't doubt that.'

She nodded numbly. 'It _was_ the right time.' She agreed. 'Right situation, right emotions. We were just the wrong people.'

'That's right,' I said quietly. 'Which is why I will understand when you decide to back out.'

'When?'She questioned. 'You mean _if._ And I won't. I,' she swallowed, 'I believe in us, Levi. I've known you for so little and half the time you only pushed me away, but what I feel for you is real. I'm not going to back down.'

A pregnant silence overtook the room, so heavy that I felt I could suffocate if I didn't breathe hard enough. Rising from my seat, I rounded the table and stretched out my hand to her. She took it without hesitation, and I led her into the room with the bamboo mural. Sitting on the cold ground, I pulled her between my legs and she sat against me. Resting my chin on her shoulder, I circled my arms around her torso. She relaxed into my hold.

'I sat here for hours after you finished this room,' I murmured. 'I couldn't look away from this. I was so fascinated with it, how you put your heart and soul into it and made it look so real. Whenever I look at it, whenever I work in here, I see you.' Sighing, I tightened my hold. 'I'll put you through misery, Petra. You'll wonder what you ever saw in me in the first place. But if you endure it, so will I. I won't back down either.'

She contemplated. 'I'm really old fashioned. I don't believe in sex before marriage so you can't bed me.' She said.

I smirked against her shoulder. 'I'm not looking to bed you. I respect you too much for that. But,' I paused, tracing the bamboo with my eyes, 'I believe I can come to love you. Maybe enough to marry you.'

'That's good. I think I can too.' She admitted, her voice soft and hesitant. I pressed a kiss against her ear. 'Your father won't approve of me. Not now, and not in the future.'

'He will,' she gripped the fabric of my pants. 'When he meets you properly and finds out what sort of man you are, he'll adore you.'

It sounded like such a good dream, I wanted to believe her.

-X-

'You should go before the boys get here,' I said later. 'We have a house to go this afternoon. Seeing you here will make them suspicious.'

'Of our relationship?' She asked.

'Of your chastity,' I smirked, and she blushed.

'Right.' She went to grab her bag, and before she left, I pulled her back by her forearm. Placing a chaste kiss on her forehead, I pulled away. 'If I here you visited Daniel again, you can be sure that I will lose my shit.'

Grinning, she kissed my cheek. 'I won't.' And with that, she left.

She closed the door behind her, and long after she was gone, I contemplated a future with Petra. The first time I had for any woman, and considering the fact that I had already entered my thirties, I figured it was about time.

I didn't deserve her, but if was going to fight for me, I sure as hell was going to fight for her. Of that, I was certain.

-X-

That night, I received a text.

_Since you never bothered to ask for it, I put my number on your phone this morning. Don't freak out when you see my name suddenly on your caller ID_

_-Petra_

Smirking slightly, I replied.

_What name did you save my number under?_

A moment later, I received another.

_Don't laugh. Lilly Adams. I don't want my dad randomly seeing your name on my phone if he ever snoops. I don't know how to approach him yet._

I frowned. It would be a problem, I knew, if it continued this way. Sooner or later, I would have to confront Peter Ral about Petra. If I was honest, I wanted it to happen sooner than later.

* * *

_What was love, if not something worth risking everything for?_

* * *

_Lips generous and warm__  
__You build me up like steps__  
__Eyes innocent and wild__  
__Remind me what it's like_

* * *

_**Looong overdue update that I haven't been able to come around to since my exams last semester! The new semester absolutely killed me as I changed two subjects and I'm struggling to come with one of them, and another of my old subjects. School has never swamped me so much, and I'm so ashamed this update wasn't sooner. And longer. It's short but hopefully enough sweetness to satisfy your Rivetra needs! Hopefully the next update will be faster and much longer than this. **_

_**Also, I posted another Rivetra story called Willow Waves and you can find it in my stories if you go on my page. It'll only be a two-shot so it won't take up too much of my writing time so after I'm done with it I can continue updating this then starting my OTHER Rivetra story soon.**_

_**Anyways, if you are interested check out Willow Waves for more Rivetra goodness( if you like my writing that is, it won't be very good if its not enjoyable haha) and leave a review to let me know how I went!**_

_**Let me know how you felt about this chapter also? **_

_**Love &amp; Respect **_

_**xx**_


	9. Pyrrhic

_**Disclaimer: Me no own. Must try harder**_

_**Probably not edited**_

* * *

_**Cry Differently**_

* * *

_**Chapter 9**_

* * *

_Most people were overjoyed; they took to their boats  
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat  
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your  
Door have been silenced forevermore_

* * *

_If God didn't want to give, why did He create us wanting?_

* * *

**LEVI**

* * *

'City or beach?' she asked.

'Beach.'

'You're boring,' Petra commented, clicking her tongue.

'We're going to the beach right now,' I rolled my eyes, slowing the car down as we approached a red light. I glanced at her disapprovingly but she made a point of ignoring my pointed stare at the way she was sitting; at an angle against the door with her legs crossed on the seat, and no seatbelt.

'Technicalities,' she waved her hand. 'I'm going because I'll be spending time with you.'

'I'm flattered.'

'You should be. I ditched Hanji for this date. I'm a horrible friend.' She sighed.

'As far as I know, it's very normal to spend your weekends with your partner. Especially in a new relationship. I'm sure Hanji can wait her turn to have you again.' I remarked, earning a snicker from the woman in the seat beside me.

'You say sweet things in very roundabout ways. Why not just say you want to spend time with me?' She teased. I hit acceleration suddenly then released, causing the car to harshly jerk forward. Petra yelped as she almost slid off the seat, bracing the front board just in time.

'Put on your seatbelt, Ral.'

'Could've just said so. No need to cover up your embarrassment, goodness gracious.' She muttered, sitting straight and stretching over to put the seatbelt on just in time for the light to turn green.

'Forest or mountains.'

'Forest.'

'Aha!' She exclaimed, 'we finally have something In common.'

'Unfortunately,' I affirmed.

'Fortunately,' she corrected. 'You're incredibly blessed to share anything with me, given your personality and all. You could use something to aid people's perception of you.'

'You talk very high and mighty for someone who was aching for me for weeks on end.'

'I was _not._'

'Hmm, that's not what I remember.'

'Well you weren't there because you sent me away. How could you know?' The atmosphere took a sudden shift, but I knew she regretted her words instantly. So I didn't say a word, instead taking a left turn from the lane. I turned the radio on to dissipate the awkwardness, and almost as an apology — or an acknowledgement of her rashness — she put her hand over mine beside us. I twined our fingers loosely, and she seemed to relax at that. I accepted a while ago that tension between us was inevitable, and I would be lying if I said I didn't expect her to bring up the last couple of weeks, and it would also be a lie that it didn't sting just a little. Squeezing her hand, just to assure myself that she was here, I directed my focus back on the road.

-X-

'Tell me about your life.'

'There's not much to tell,' I kicked at a pebble under my foot. Despite the sun being out and promises of a warm forecast, the beachside was a little too chilly for my liking. Not that I minded the cold, but I felt that Petra did.

'You're what, thirty? I'm sure an old man like you has some story to tell.'

I shot her a look, which she returned with a glint in her eye.

'Tell me about your childhood,' she pressed.

I remained silent and she sighed in resignation.

'Why don't you tell me about your past relationships?' I asked instead.

She scoffed. 'You have the audacity to ask me a question when you avoid mine? I've had many boyfriends, thank you very much. I've lost count.'

'Really?' I smirked in amusement.

'Mhmm. You had to see me as a teenager,' she whistled. 'Boys flocked at my feet.'

'You went to an all-girls school,' I pointed out.

'Doesn't mean I didn't meet boys,' she shot back. 'Had a new date every week. My dad couldn't keep up with their names.' That was where she gave herself away, because there was no way Peter Ral would've let his teenage daughter go on weekly dates. Besides, it would've been around the time her mother died.

I immediately abolished the thought.

'What happened? Were they all put off by your stubborn hold on your virginity?'

She huffed. 'I haven't heard you complain. Besides, no teenage boy makes commitments to marriage. Unlike some thirty year old men.'

'Ah, yeah. That was a stupid confession. You must have drugged my coffee that morning with a love potion,' I reached for her, and she let me wind my arms around her waist.

'I must admit we said some very rash things for our first day together,' she acknowledged chirpily, clearly trying to fight a blush. 'Not that it negates anything I said. I do believe in us. And I believe I can love you. And marry you.'

'You'd scare men away if you go off saying things like that.' I smirked, but I couldn't deny the thrill that ran down my spine. It was the first time I reacted in such a way to any woman, much less one who was openly confessing her feelings to me. It was a refreshing feeling.

Her blush was evident now, and she looked away. 'You were the one who said it first.'

I could admittedly do it without the reminder. 'It's chilly. Do you want to go watch a movie instead? We can eat afterwards as well.' I offered. She murmured her agreement and stepped back. I let my arms dropped beside me as I watched her trudge back to the car, somewhat sullenly. It was amusing, but made me wonder how much more of this I put her through, how much of it I hadn't witnessed, and whether it was worse. Her innocence was one thing to find humorous, but her insecurity was another. Knowing that I left her feeling embarrassed and unsure of herself left a bad taste in my mouth, and I jogged after her, taking her hand suddenly.

'They'll get cold.'

She rolled her eyes.

-X-

'How many past relationships have you had?'

'My list of relationships is far less scandalous than yours. I can at least count mine,' I stated drily, letting her think I believed in her lie.

'Totally understandable. I am much more approachable so it's only normal that I've had more interactions with the opposite sex.'

I chuckled, and she allowed herself a smile but not without me noticing the look in her eyes. 'So…how many?'

'Two.'

'Oh.'

'Mhmm.'

'Well…when? Why did they end?'

'Both during my apprentice days. First one didn't last long because she moved away soon after and we both decided such a new relationship wasn't worth suffering a long distance relationship over. Second one ended because she left me for another man. Harvard law student.'

'I heard you got accepted into Harvard,' she admitted. I filed that information away to be addressed later, even though I had a fairly good idea on who it would be to pass such a thing onto Petra.

'It wasn't intelligence she was after, Ral. No carpenter makes more money than a lawyer. Not usually, at least.'

'Fair enough,' she murmured.

'Have you ever been left before?' I asked with a smirk.

She scoffed, 'which man in his right mind would leave me? I did all the dumping.'

'Ah. And I've been the one dumped. I should be careful.'

'Exactly,' she grinned, finally returning her attention to her plate that was growing cold. Reminded of my own, I cut up my chicken.

'Why didn't you attend Harvard?' She asked after a while in a casual tone which I knew was only meant to hide her curiosity. 'I mean, if you weren't going to go, why apply in the first place?'

'Honestly, it was a challenge. During my apprenticeship work experience in tenth grade, I really wanted to join my boss' business, but he said I was too shit to become a carpenter for him. His business was in high demand and he was thriving, he said, why would he risk that for a shitty little dumb ass brat?'

She smiled, and I took it as an indication to continue. 'I initially wasn't so eager, but after he said that I wanted to prove myself. I asked if he'd accept me if I was smart enough to be accepted into Harvard. He laughed and said he sure would, so I studied my ass off for the next two years and got accepted into Harvard as a psychology student.'

'Your boss must've been stumped,' she grinned, and I nodded.

'He was, and because he was a man of his word, he made me his apprentice.'

'And that's the story of how you became the best carpenter in the area,' Petra predicted.

'Sort of. After my dad died I moved away to work somewhere else. It was a bit of a painful reminder. After a couple of years of moving around, I came here.'

She grew quiet at my words, and I wondered if I said something wrong. She poked at her chicken a little. 'Did you move away because of your dad's death, or because of Daniel's arrest?'

And there it was again. The tension between us. I thought back on just a month or two ago, when she said it didn't matter. I didn't think it changed, but perhaps she went into this as naïve as I was, and we were both foolish if we believed that we could overcome what happened. What happened to both of us. 'Both. Your dad didn't exactly leave me alone.'

She looked up, surprised. 'He harassed you?'

During the court case, yes. It was understandable. I hired Daniel's lawyer and pushed for his innocence. It was a half ass effort and I knew it wouldn't work, I just fooled myself into thinking I was doing something I should've. But your father believed I was just as bad as Daniel,' I couldn't prevent the resentment that was evident in my voice.

'I'm sorry,' she said earnestly, putting down her fork. 'I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?'

'Because of this,' I gestured between us bitterly. 'Because of what it does to us.'

'It hasn't done anything,' she defended. 'But you seem to be making a habit of not telling me about what my dad does to you. Is there anything else you want to confess? What else did my dad do?'

'He didn't do anything serious,' I growled. 'I'm not trying to turn you on your father. He didn't harass me.'

Well, he did. Threats made on my life, while didn't frighten me, bothered me on a social level. Peter Ral had no problem spreading word that I was a murderer's son, one who defended his father, no less. Locals knew my face, my boss knew about it, and even my landlord turned on me. But Petra didn't need to know that much. I was already cursing myself for admitting as much as I already did.

'I don't believe you.'

'I'm not going to argue with you about this.'

'Fine,' she growled, pushing her chair back and standing up. 'Let's leave. Because I will start something we can't stop before the food is over.' Opening her purse, she tossed some cash on the table and grabbed her bag. 'I'm in the truck.' Walking around the table, she snatched the keys from my pocket and promptly left.

_Fucking stubborn woman, _I thought bitterly, unable to stop myself from rolling my eyes at the money she left behind. Rolling it up and pocketing it, I paid for the bill and left.

Petra was sitting in the back seat when I got to the truck. Stubborn _and _petty. Getting in the driver's seat, I tossed her the roll of cash. 'It's still a date. Don't think you're obliged to pay.' She tossed it right back and it hit my neck. Growling in frustration, I started the engine.

-X-

When we reached the studio, she got out as soon as the truck stopped, tearing down the street with not so much as a good bye. I wasted no time in going after her, grabbing her forearm. 'Let's talk.'

She scowled. 'Tried that. You weren't willing to tell the truth.'

'Petra,' I warned through gritted teeth. 'Let's go inside.'

She made a face, but didn't resist when I pulled her with me towards the studio. Once we were inside, she tugged her arm out of my grip and crossed them across her chest. 'Well,' she said, jutting out her chin, 'talk.'

'Why do you have to be such a stubborn bitch?'

'Excuse me, you bastard, but don't go calling me names when you're being the stubb—' I pulled her towards me, grabbing her face in my hands and leaning in to kiss her fully on the mouth. She made a noise of protest and pulled away, scowl etched in her features. 'You can't kiss your way out of our problems.'

'It's couple therapy,' I muttered, leaning in again. This time she didn't object. 'It's a reconciliation tactic,' I mumbled before moulding our lips, unable to prevent the sigh of relief as she responded. Her arms came around my torso, fingers tightening in my shirt.

'This won't work all the time,' she mumbled against my lips.

'I can argue against that.' I mumbled back, not wanting to talk. Clasping a hand behind her neck, I kissed her with renewed energy that she returned. Blood hummed in my ears, my heart thumping so loudly it was entirely possible for her to hear it the same way I heard hers.

When we pulled apart, all her anger seemed to have drained away and she leaned her forehead against my shoulder. 'I hate you.'

I snorted, although it came out slightly breathless. 'Likewise.'

We stood there for a while, wrapped in each other's arms because it seemed to comfort her, and I couldn't deny the peace it brought me either.

'I feel ashamed.' She admitted after some time.

'From what?' I frowned.

'Because of what my dad has done to you. I feel like I'm causing you more problems than I'm worth.'

I tightened my hold. 'You're dad didn't do anything, Petra. Don't antagonise him. I don't want to get in between you.'

'You're supposed to say I'm not causing you more problems than I'm worth,' she laughed softly.

'That's a little hard to say. You're a real fucking handful sometimes. As stubborn as an ox and as moody as cat.'

'You're not all that great yourself,' she retorted, pulling away slightly. I easily overpowered her effort and refused to let her go.

'Maybe I'm the one who's causing more problems than I'm worth,' I admitted.

'What makes you say that?' She looked up, mouth pulled down in bemusement.

'It looks like I cause you more misery than happiness. I've already lost count of how many times I've put you off just today, let alone in the past couple of weeks.'

'Likewise. But I told you I'm in it for the long run. As long as you are too, we can get through it, right? We can make each other happy?' Her voice dropped shyly, and it was amusingly adorable.

I thought of her father. I thought of mine. I thought of her mother and I thought of all those weeks that I left her miserable and upset and the time I threw money in her face and the time I was rude beyond measure. I didn't — couldn't — understand why she was still here.

'I'm too old for complicated relationships,' I sighed drily, resting the side of my head against hers.

'You don't think I'm too young for you, do you?' she asked.

'It's amazing how you can pull problems out of your ass, Petra.'

'Shut up.'

* * *

_If there really is a God, no matter what you believe in, won't there always be someone listening to your prayers?_

* * *

_And the distance is quite simply much too far for me to row;  
It seems farther than ever before (oh no)_

_I need you so much closer_

_So come on, come on_

* * *

_**Wow. What happened to me? I don't know, it's been the craziest year I've ever had, and I've finally had time to update this story. Though I must admit at some point I completely forgot where I was heading with this story and that's also partly why I put off updating as well, because then I got filler chapters like this. I've got a bit of a grip on it now, but I figured this is a good opportunity to do some innocent fan service. Anyone who has ideas (or fantasies like I do about so many shippings) please feel free to drop it in a review and I'll do my best to fit it into the chapters so that it flows with the rest of the story.**_

_**I know from experience what it's like to read a story and wish so desperately for the characters to do something, only for them to continue on without any chemistry or spark. So please feel free to leave suggestions in a review.**_

_**Having said that, I need to thank sooo many people for still sticking with this story despite my poor updating skills. I'm so humbled by all your reviews, and they make my day every time I read them. I try to respond to them occasionally, but then I wonder, do people really care if I do respond? If you do, I'll be more than happy to reply to reviews if you have any questions, or if you want to simply have a chat! Thanks again to all of you, you make my day shine : )**_

_**Love and respect **_

_**xx**_


	10. Fracture

**DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 10**

* * *

**NOTE: Unedited.**

* * *

_I am the blank page before you  
I am the fine idea you crave  
I live and breathe under the moon  
And when you cross that bridge  
I'll come find you_

_Stay awake with me_  
_You know I can't just let you be_  
_Stay awake with me_  
_Take your hand and come and find me_

* * *

_There is no such thing as a coincidence, Levi. Only alternate ways in which fate can play out._

* * *

LEVI

* * *

No. No. Fuck, _no. _I closed my eyes for a moment in hopes that I was hallucinating, but to no avail. When I opened them, the headline was still there in the newspaper. **Thieving Murderer Granted Probation**.

_Daniel Ackerman, 54, convicted of murdering Emilia Ral, 41, seven years ago in a house robbery that went wrong applied for probation in early March. Good behaviour and compliance with prison rules has led to the probation period to be granted, which will expire in August 2018—_

I scrunched the page, angrily throwing it across the room. This was bullshit. Absolute fucking bullshit. I picked up my phone, dialling Petra's number. It was nearing noon, which was when she took her breaks at work. She didn't pick up, but rang back fairly quickly.

'Hello,' her voice came out in a cautious tone.

'Did you see it?' I asked grimly.

'Yeah,' she reluctantly admitted. 'My dad told me this morning and I read the paper before I left. Are you okay?'

I paused, taken aback. 'Am _I _okay? Have you lost your mind, Ral?'

'About what?'

'What does me being okay have to do with this? The question is, are _you _okay?' I left the _are we okay _in the air between us, but she definitely understood it.

'I am. I can't say I'm that surprised, if I'm honest. I saw it coming.'

'Did your dad lose it?'

'Sort of. He saw it coming too, but I don't think it properly hit him until he saw it in the paper.'

'I can imagine.' I sighed. 'He can't come near you. At least there is that. His parole officer won't allow it, and neither will your dad.'

'I know.' She said softly, and we lapsed into silence. I wanted to say more, so much more, but the words were stuck in my throat. She sighed. 'Don't worry, Levi. I can sense your heightening anxiety levels through the phone. It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay. Both of us are.'

'Yeah,' I murmured. 'I'll let you go. Have your lunch.'

'Okay. I'll see you.'

Even when the call ended, I felt restless, despite her words. But I was a grown ass man, so I dumped my coffee down the sink and delved into my newest project that a customer ordered over the phone yesterday afternoon. I worked in the bamboo room — as it had now been dubbed — and it helped to suppress my growing apprehension for the rest of the day.

* * *

PETRA

* * *

I felt oddly calm, if not a little anxious, when I received the news of Daniel's parole. There was no danger — he wouldn't have been released if there was, though that is never a guarantee. A crazy, egocentric bastard he may be, but an idiot he was not. Daniel wouldn't risk doing anything when he knew all eyes would be on him, and on us, to make sure he didn't step out of the line. Besides, he had spent the last seven years in jail. He wouldn't risk his newly earned freedom. Or I hoped he wouldn't anyway.

What was risky was me visiting Levi while the news was still fresh, as it would be for the next couple of weeks. Daniel was to be released next Saturday, and it would be reckless for me to be seen with Levi when my dad was on such a high alert. So we resorted to daily texting and a phone call when we were on break at work. It was wearying, to not be able to be with him in a time like this. The shaky foundation of our relationship was based on this, and God knew that I wasn't going to let it ruin our relationship when we were trying so hard to overcome our history.

When night came around on Friday, four days later, dinner was still tense, though my dad acted as though everything was okay. 'How was work?' I asked as I stuck my fork into the pasta.

'It was alright. A little busier than usual,' he replied, sounding unconcerned.

'How come?'

We continued dinner in a similar fashion, and when I made popcorn so we could watch a movie like we occasionally did on Friday nights, Dad followed along. But as we watched the movie, I could tell his mind was elsewhere. Not only that, but he was thinking of something. Or planning would be the better word. And from the way his eyes kept darting towards me, I knew he was waiting.

'I'm going to stay at Hanji's tomorrow. We agreed to a girl's night in. Might do reruns of _Friends_ and all.' He tried not to react, but I noticed the way his eyes sparked ever so slightly.

'Sure thing. Enjoy yourself.' He responded.

Oh I would.

-X-

After dinner on Saturday, I left with a small back pack of clothing with a kiss on my dad's cheek. But instead of making my way to Hanji's, I lingered around the street corner, waiting.

Sure enough, within twenty minutes, my dad got out of the house with a stern look on his face. I had a fairly good idea where he was going. I followed him, feeling very much like a sleuth, all the way to Levi's studio. From a distance, I watched him knock on the studio door. When Levi opened it, he looked surprised, though not particularly shocked. He probably was expecting a visit. It was impossible for my dad not to considering the recent events.

When they disappeared into the studio, I wanted to follow, but I decided against it. Anything I do to interfere would only work against me later. So I waited.

* * *

LEVI

* * *

While I knew better than to believe that Peter Ral wouldn't pay me a visit, I expected it to be later rather than sooner. But there was no use in pondering over Peter's lack of patience when he invited himself into my studio and was staring at me expectantly across the dinner table.

'My daughter still thinks of you.' He began.

I shot him a disconcerted look.

'Don't stare at me like that, young man. Don't think I didn't realise that you had a different kind of effect on my daughter. She was in a sullen mood for a very long time, and I've learnt to recognise the look in her eye when you are on her mind. And I do not doubt that she had the same effect on you.'

'You're mistaken, Mr Ral. Petra and I were in a very short term business transaction, nothing more.' I said evenly.

'I'm sure. What I am also sure of is that you two have continued to see each other. I cannot say I know the extent of your relationship, but I know a man in love when I see one. You try to hide what you are feeling this very moment,' he paused, 'but it is not very difficult to discern a man in love.'

My heart pounded, but I refused to give in. 'Petra and I have not been in contact since we've terminated our agreement. At most, I've seen her in passing while at the coffee shop.'

'Say what you like, Levi, it does not make me doubt myself any more. I have chosen to stay out of this in order to give Petra room to recognise her mistake and distance herself from you on her own. However, with the recent turn in events, I cannot remain impartial any longer.' He leaned forward. 'You are to stay away from Petra.'

I raised a brow. 'You are incredibly presumptuous. I've already said that I am not in contact with your daughter, nor is she in contact with me.'

Peter Ral smirked. 'You are quite like your father. That was his method as well; deny, deny, deny.'

I tensed, fists unconsciously clenching. 'I do not appreciate your comparison. I am not my father. I barely know him. You probably know Daniel Ackerman better than I do, Mr Ral. After all, you've done much more research into his past than I have. All I know of that man is that he is a wretched piece of shit who forced my mother into a situation where she had to give me up. If we consider timelines, you've known him for much longer than I have.'

'The apple never falls far from the tree,' he spat. 'You can appear disinterested and distant now, but sooner or later, who you are will impact Petra. I will not stand by while you and your family ruin my daughter's life more than you already have. Stay out of her life. This is my last warning to you.'

'I have done nothing wrong,' I said through gritted teeth. 'Not to you and not to Petra.'

'No, but you will. Who you are will catch up to you, and it will be too little too late by the time you both realise that what you are trying to pursue will only destroy you.' He stood up. 'As you said, I know your father better than you. That extends to you, too. In the end, the same way Petra will understand and realise my words, you will understand and realise your true nature. What is it that Daniel Ackerman says? Blood calls to blood. Don't dirty my daughter. You will regret it.'

With that, he let himself out. I stayed in my chair, fuming and exhausted at the same time. Something stirred in my stomach, something akin to sorrow, frustration and doubt. Doubt that maybe he was right. For fuck's sake, I'm more like Daniel in character than I am like my adoptive father. What's to say I'm not like him in other ways?

I only noticed that someone else had entered my studio when I heard the footsteps in the corridor. When I looked up, Petra stood in the doorway. I stood, feeling worn to my bones. 'What are you doing here? I thought we agreed not to see each other.'

'I thought I'd come check up on you,' she said slowly, leaning against the doorway. 'Why was my dad here?'

That explained it. She must've followed him here. Nothing else would explain why she would visit when it was her who implemented the no contact rule to begin with. 'Not sure myself. Wasn't listening. I tend to zone out when people talk about politics. I care very little about the political atmosphere of our country.'

She snorted. 'Because you are the first person my dad would want to talk politics with.'

'I'm of the same opinion as you, believe it or not,' I turned to the sink, reaching for the upper cabinet for a glass. I filled it with water and took a sip, not realising how dry my throat was.

'Come on. I'm listening.' Petra pressed.

'Nothing. Just talked about Daniel. Said that I should know better this time around not to support him or give away your location. Standard protective parent things.'

'Levi,' she sighed. 'I don't want to do this. Actually, no. We aren't doing this. You're already distancing yourself. Do you think I'm an idiot?'

'I didn't say that.'

'Are you going to listen to him again?' She demanded, voice increasing in volume. I turned to glance at her, matching her furious stare. 'Stop making assumptions.'

'I'm not. I'm not stupid, my dad wouldn't come here if he wasn't onto something and he wanted to confront you about distancing yourself from me. Did he tell you to stay away?'

I hesitated, but there was no point in stoking her already growing temper. 'Yes.'

She scoffed. 'Of course he did. Did he tell you you're not worth it? That you don't deserve me? That you're going to taint innocent little _me_?' She stepped forward. 'Did he tell you that you're dirt and that you are exactly like your dad?'

'Petra—'

'Yes, he did. And you believe him. I can see it in your eyes.' She spat. 'I guess this only means one thing, right? That I'm a little girl who can't make rational decisions, and I need others to make them for me, and my opinion doesn't matter because why would the way your partner views you matter when everyone else is telling you what sort of piece of shit you are?'

'Lower your voice,' I sighed.

'You're not even defending yourself!' she shrilled. 'Is it always going to come to this? My word against my dad's? My word against your dad's? For goodness sake, you can't keep telling me that you know you are not your dad and then doubt yourself the next moment someone questions your motives. You are not _him.'_

'Maybe not. But that doesn't change that I'm his fucking son. And that I am more like him than either of us care to admit.'

She laughed. 'What? A stubborn, rude bastard? That's most of the fucking population. Don't be so self centred.'

'For fuck's sake, stop trying to defend this,' I snapped, feeling my own rage begin to feed into the argument. 'Whether or not I am like him or not, it doesn't change _who _I am. And that's his son. I could be a fucking God sent angel and it won't change the fact that we share a history beyond mutual fucking attraction, and it might be too much for us to handle. Don't you see, Petra? We have only been together for four fucking months, and we have had this argument more times than we care to admit. It might be time to realise that feelings aren't going to be enough.'

'So you're saying you want to end this?' she questioned angrily.

'No, fuck, no, but you have to get the fact that we came into more blinded than we realised. We can talk all we want about the past not mattering, but it does. Your mother is _dead _because of that bastard. We are connected more by our parents than we are by our own experience with each other, and that's not going to change any time soon.'

'Then what do you want?' she asked madly, 'because I'm tired of trying to convince you that this is worth it. You cannot change moods so quickly every time there is some sort of obstacle! I'm tired of trying to convince you that _I'm worth it.'_

I remained silent, wanting to shout that of course she was fucking worth it, and that wasn't the question. It was whether _I was worth it_ and I couldn't admit aloud that this haunted me more often than I wanted to acknowledge. 'I don't want to end it,' I began cautiously, hoping to return to a regular conversation level of sound. 'But we need a break. Until this dies down. Peter is already suspicious enough that he is convinced we are still in contact. It's not wise to keep provoking each other when things are so tense and your dad is breathing down our necks.'

'A break,' she repeated, disbelief mirroring in her orbs. 'If that is not already a step towards giving up, I don't know what is. But you know what? It's fine. I'm not going to push something you aren't sure of onto you.'

'Don't be ridiculous. Of course I want you,' I defended viciously.

'I don't think you know what you want, Levi. But you're right. We need a break.' She shifted her weight from one foot to another. 'Take care.' And with that, she turned, going back the way she came, and there was nothing I could say that would not negate everything I just said. But fuck, it wasn't meant to end like this. Not like _this_.

-X-

By eleven at night, my stomach was growling but I had no appetite, and I had no will to sleep. Too restless, too apprehensive. So I did what every person with an unstable temper would do when they were pissed up the wall. I drove to Walmart. I couldn't be the only one who went there late at night to blow off steam. I was in the DVD aisle, distracting myself with movie synopses when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Turning around, I was faced with the one person I never would've expected to ever see again. 'Sophie.'

'Levi! I can't believe I bumped into you here of all places. What a coincidence!' Sophie exclaimed, pulling me into a hug I reluctantly returned. I forced myself to relax as I released her, managing an expression that could be accepted as polite.

'What are you doing here?' I asked.

'Here? I moved near here not long ago, I came for some late night shopping. Small decorations for my new apartment,' she grinned. 'What about you?'

'I live nearby,' I said slowly, 'was bored at home. Came to find some DVDs to buy.'

'Live around here? No way. Is your job nearby? I never would've pegged you as someone to live in suburbs like these.'

'I opened a studio actually. I work and live there. It's pretty convenient.'

'That's crazy!' she exclaimed. 'I have to see it; it's always been your dream to have your own workplace. Finally achieved your goals, Mr Ackerman,' she laughed. It had been. She would know, of course. Sophie knew many things. And I did too, which is why I knew she was implying that I should take her to see my new studio.

'Want to come over? I'll make coffee,' it had been a long time, and I could see how her eyes sparked at the offer. It was funny, considering I knew that if I hadn't offered, she would've pushed further. 'Of course. It's been a long time, we can catch up, right?'

-X-

Sophie, simply put, was one of the few women I had been interested in. Not only interested, but deeply invested in. When I was an apprentice, she was the daughter of one of the company's shareholders, one that was bored enough with her own life to hang around the company during summer holidays of university. We hadn't hit it off right away, in fact, we bickered often. But I suppose, it was natural to be attracted to someone who could so easily match your witty and dry remarks with their own. But I was too frightened to take a leap, though our relationship's course was so natural that it was going to happen sooner or later. And then Daniel happened. Soon after his first court case, I separated from the company and bid Sophie goodbye. She never knew why, although she suspected it was serious enough for me to abandon our not-quite-their relationship. It had been hard to leave, even harder to forget her.

Now, as I sat across her in the kitchen where too many people were sitting for my liking recently, I remembered why I was so invested in her to begin with. And why it hurt so much when I moved away.

'This place looks amazing,' she stated, sipping her coffee. 'I'm quite jealous. Even if I don't work as a carpenter, I would've wanted my apartment to be as big. The murals are spectacular as well. Did you get them professionally done, or were they already there when you bought the place?'

'I hired someone,' I replied simply, unwilling to satisfy her curiosity. 'How have things been? You're looking well.'

'They've been well. I just got a job at a nearby firm, so things are looking up,' she grinned.

'So you've followed up on your dream as a lawyer, I see.'

'Nope. I abandoned that a few months after I last saw you. I'm a real estate agent now,' she stated. 'I know, I'm a professional liar now.'

I smirked. 'Lawyers are liars too.'

'So are sneaky carpenters.'

'Not explaining is not lying.' I defended mildly, feeling myself getting worked up in a good way. The banter, although rusty, was familiar.

'It is lying by omission.' She countered.

'How will that hold up in court?'

'I wouldn't know, I'm too good of a liar to be caught up in a court case,' she grinned.

'Of course you are,' my smirk grew. A comforting silence overcame us, and I raised my mug to my lips. But the taste only reminded me of Petra and left my mouth bitter. Overcome with thoughts of her, I cleared my throat, trying to focus on Sophie, who was still grinning like a fool.

'I've missed this,' she admitted teasingly, and then reluctantly added, 'I've missed us.'

I wanted to counter with a remark about her lying ability, something that would've tipped her off that I was still interested. A couple of months ago, I would've been. A couple of months ago, my life had settled into a new routine, Daniel's future in prison was still set in stone, and I was finally free to live without restrictions. But Peter Ral was right; Petra wasn't the only one who was affected by what we shared. And I feared that he was also right about my feelings that I was in love. The thought, while frightening and uncomfortable, was not foreign. I thought of Petra's smile, her eye rolls, her witty remarks and the little things she did that made her who she was. My chest tightened. My head was beginning to pound; beginning with a soft _thum_ that was growing into what I knew would be a migraine.

'It's been a long time,' I murmured, sipping my coffee again. I looked up at Sophie, taking in her features. She was as beautiful as I remembered, still the same abrasive but graceful girl I was willing to commit to. I tried to imagine myself with her. It would be easy, too easy, to call Petra tomorrow. To say that I had enough time to think and that it was for the better that we broke it off before we got hurt. And then I would pursue Sophie. I would go through the motions of attraction and courting again, try to win her already wavering heart all over again. And I would forget Petra, and begin my life anew for the third time. She deserved better after all, Petra did. I couldn't ever do enough to deserve her, but Sophie, I could try. She was attainable. I wouldn't be ashamed of loving her.

And yet, the thought only deepened the sorrow. I glanced at my phone on the table, wanting to pick it up to call Petra. To tell her that, fuck I didn't deserve her but she was foolish enough to think that I did and that was enough. I could work for the rest. Our earlier argument came back to me in waves, and Iwas reminded again of every reason that led to that fight. No, I couldn't. I looked away from the phone,instead averting my attention to Sophie, who seemed oblivious to my mood. The more oblivious, the better. Ignorance was bliss, after all.

* * *

_If I didn't believe in us, I would've given up a long time ago._

* * *

_I don't have a skin like you do  
To keep it all in like you do  
I don't have a soul like you  
The only one I have  
Is the one I stole from you_

_Stay awake with me_  
_You know I can't just let you be_  
_Stay awake with me_  
_Take your hand and come and find me_

* * *

**_That's one more chapter down. Thankfully, I updated this one faster than the last. Hopefully you guys liked it, and don't worry, I don't plan for the rest of the story to be filled with an angsty separation, because I hate that. But that's not to say our favourite couple will be together again as easily (or less harder) than before._**

**_Let me know what you guys think! Your reviews make my day and fuel my passion to write! _**

**_Also, to the one Guest reviewer who suggested that I watch Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and write about Edwin, I've already watched it! Well, actually, I watched the original, and it was many years ago so many details are fuzzy. I most certainly wouldn't mind watching Brotherhood and becoming an EdWin shipper/writer. I don't remember many of their interactions but I definitely remember Roy and Riza's, who were my absolute favourites haha. Look out in the future, I just might write for these two couples!_**

**_Thank you all again so much, and please feed my love and my inspiration by leaving a review!_**

**_Love &amp; Respect _**

**_xx_**


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